Monday, August 4, 2014

Then,

...there are the remains.

Okay, yesterday afternoon, one of my daughters came to visit.  We chatted about a lot of things, and then I mentioned my blog, and how I got a 'birthday' note from a local crematorium.  Was that irony, or poor/good timing?  We both had a good laugh.

Then she asked, "What do you want done with your remains?

Hmmm. I have to admit I had not thought of that.  And, barring anyone wanting to spend the thousands of bucks having them turned into diamonds I just figured they would sit around...somewhere...in a Mason jar or old coffee can collecting dust. LOL.

I've made no arrangement for them in my will.  Hmmm?

She suggest possibly scattering them over the countryside in Wales.  A good idea, but quite expensive.

Then she said "How about New York City?"

By golly I think she's got something there!  Yes, I think I'd like that.  Perhaps they could (in the still of the night) pry loose one of the sidewalk slabs, pour me under it and replace the slab.  Yes, I really, really like that idea.

Of course, then the conversation just got plain silly.  She suggested, I didn't necessarily have to be 'buried' there, and whoever got the job would certainly not get arrested for destroying public property if the ashes were simply 'scattered' there. Good point!  I imagine getting bailed out of jail in NYC would cost a
pret-ttee-y penny.  Beside, NYC never sleeps, and my heirs would most certainly get caught prying up a hunk of concrete.

Then, she hit upon a really, really great idea.  One I think they would all enjoy. Here's the plan.

1.  Ship my remains to Penn Station and lock up in a locker. (Apparently you can't just put me in a suitcase as a means of transportation.)
2.  Fly to NYC, meet at the station and retrieve my remains.
3.  Proceed to hotel, check in and retire to rooms.
4.  Di-vie up the ashes.
5.  Cut holes in pockets of clothing.
6.  Proceed to Times Square.
7.  Walk along, occasionally shaking left or right leg, allowing ashes to 'scatter' along The Square.
8.  Assignment completed, find a nice restaurant and enjoy a fine dinner...on me.

Don't you just love it when a plan comes together.


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