Have you ever been 'stuck on something'?

Well I have.  Ever since I wrote my Blog yesterday, I've been thinking a lot about things people used to say that people don't (so much) anymore.  Like for instance, 'well, ain't that a fine how do you do'.  This was so much on my mind I started to write a list, so here for your reading enjoyment is the list of the sayings I remember coming and going in my lifetime.

Isn't that just honkie-dorry?

Well, isn't that a fine kettle of fish?

Have you ever 'jumped from the frying pan right into the fire'.

Or, had a job turn out so easy, 'It was like shooting fish in a barrel'.

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle, or perhaps, well, I'll be a Son of a Gun.

And, You can bet your sweet bippy on that!

Yeah, well, so's yu'r ole' man.

Here's one I've heard two different ways,  Ain't that the cat's meow, or ain't that the cat's pajamas.  (Like cats wear pajamas!)  (Well, these days, maybe some do.)

Remember those mornings when you awoke and felt 'fine as frog's hair', or 'fit as fiddle'?

Have you ever been angry enough to want to 'punch somebody in the 'snoot' 'or, 'punch their lights out'?

Or, done something so stupid you could 'kiss those sweet patooties goodbye'?

"Holy Mackerel!"

Or, perhaps you had something hit you like of 'ton of bricks', or a 'streak of lighting'.

I've even spent time, lots of time, looking for a 'what-not' and a 'thing-a-ma-jig', have you?

What the heck is a 'wa-cha-ma-callit'?

And, on occasion, I've had more fun than 'a barrel full of monkeys'.

Did you ever 'squeak by' on 'the seat of your pants'?

Maybe, you boss told you to keep it short...'like kissing your brother'.

Of course there were times when you were supposed to 'save it for a rainy day'.

Or, do you remember how hard it was to 'wait until the cows come home'.

Don't that just put 'a wrinkle in your sheets'?

And, one of my favorites; "Don't worry honey. 'It'll get better before you get married'."

Has anybody ever told you to 'get off your high horse' before they knock you off?

Well, I guess I'd better stop 'chawin' at ya', and 'git' ta gittin', 'a-fore the sun goes down'.

So, Till next time, "Just keep a laughin' and a scratchin."

Isn't that a fine how do you do

It's a little after 5:30 AM, CC is at the edge of the bed, and she's kneading on the box springs. Well, better the box springs than my face.  I had awakened earlier and turned on the TV. Since I've not watched the (First, Live, Local) news for several days I thought perhaps it might be wise to catch up on what was happening locally, you know, who got shot, who got stabbed, who got robbed, etc, etc.

Anyway, I occasionally dozed off, which of course means I really was not learning anything at all, but when my kitty arrived on the scene with her scritch, scritch, scritching, the first words that actually registered in my brain were "Isn't that a fine how do you do."

What did he just say?  Man, I've not heard that expression for years, I'm talking decades.  What made this even more amazing was the fact it came from a young 'whipper-snapper', and he was one of them edjukated metrolgists.  Yep, there he was in his 'fancy-dancy' suit telling me it was a 'fine how do you do'.

Okay, I know this has no relevance to news whatsoever, and of no importance either but it struck me funny. "Now, ain't that a fine how do you do." And, I began to wonder where this expression came from. Get ready, here's it comes, today's entry of useless information.   

The first two are from thefreedictionary.com 

 Fine how do you do

an unpleasant situation. (Said with surprise.) This is a fine how do you do! Someone left a big puddle of motor oil in my driveway. John saw his girlfriend out with another young man. He walked up to her and said, "Well, isn't this a fine how do you do!"

That's a fine how do you do

Inf. That is a terrible situation. Well, that's a fine how-do-you-do! I tried to call Mary, and her number is disconnected! That's a fine how-do-you-do. I come home and find the kids are playing catch with my best crystal bowl. 

And from Wordreference.com ....""Here's <that's> a nice <pretty> how-d'ye-do!''"  (I have not included the Internet names of the persons who penned these entries because I was not sure they would appreciate a stranger posting them in a blog.)  However, I welcome their input, and as I say you can find these entries in the Wordreference.com website. 

 "I think this expression is pretty idiomatic in English: "here's a nice how-do-you-do".It might mean: "hmm...now we have a small problem" or "well, look at what has happened now." or "Now what the hell can I do about this?" or something like "Wow! That's good news. Unexpected, but good.""

"Let the native English speakers correct me, if I am wrong. Laurel and Hardy wee a comedy team many years ago. Hardy often said to Laurel "This is a fine how-do-you-do you've gotten us into!" He also said "This is a fine mess you've gotten us into!" To me a how-do-you-do is a confusing situation or a spot of trouble. The other suggestions in the (above) post could also work, depending on the situation, but the last one - about unexpected news, is not one I've heard."

I remember hearing this expression frequently as I was growing up, and I wonder why it's not used any more, it seems it would still be appropriate in many situations.  Personally, I think it's kind of sad these 'old time' sayings have become obsolete sooo I challenge you to find a way to work this idiom into one of your conversations today.   

Now is that 'just a fine how do you do' I've got you into?  (See how easy that was?)
              

It's the simple things

I don't know about you, but for me the most simple thing can make my day, bring a lump to my throat and tear to my eye.

As with most older folk I don't have a lot of cash to throw around, and I don't want to say I'm a tightwad...well... maybe I am...so when something unexpected throws my budget into a tail spin I tend to crash around the house like a wild bull elephant, cursing, gnashing, and tearing my clothing asunder.  

Such was my attitude and composure last night.  Just before bedtime I checked my kitchen freezer to see if my homemade ice creams were 'setting up', when I heard a funny click you know, the sound your fridge makes when it wants to turn on. However, I got nothing, just the click.  "Hmmm", I says to myself,  "Well, that ain't right."  So I close the freezer door, open the refrigerator door and stand there waving the door back and forth trying to force the warm room air into the fridge in order to make the thermostat fall and start the refrigerator motor. Again, I got 'nuttin'.  

(Time passed.)

A while later I repeat the process, first by opening the freezer door, and then the refrigerator door.  This time I turn the thermostat knob off, wait a minute or two and turn the knob back on to my normal setting. CLICK.  That was it...CLICK.

It was about this time I began to think those nasty words in my brain.  Oh yes, you know the ones, they generally have four letters.  Anyway, I repeat the procedure, opening and closing both doors, CLICK, (silence) hoping this time the fridge motor would start.  CLICK, (silence).  Sigh.  

By now it's after 11 PM, what the heck can I do at this hour of the night.  I do what any frustrated, swearing, rambling old woman would do.  I took a pill, turned out the lights and went to bed, fulling expecting to find a kitchen floor overrun with water and a freezer full of defrosted food.  

Fast forward.  It's 5:30 AM.  I'm laying in bed, and through my early morning fog, swims my refrigerator. Oh yeah now I remember, I've got to face a kitchen mess, call a repair man, and wonder how I'm going to come up with the money for that, since my check does not arrive for another two weeks.  Sigh.  

You know that old expression "drag your heels", that's what I did.  First I refused to budge out of bed, then I finally threw the blankets back and sat at the edge of the bed.  I sat, and sat, and sat.  Eventually Zorro's bounding about in his early morning exuberance caused me to reach for my slippers.  The inevitable was about to happen.  

Slowly, ever so slowly, swearing under my breath, still dragging my heels, I ventured down the hall, across the living room and around the corner.  

WHAT??????  There was no water on the floor, no melting ice cream creeping out from under the freezer door.  I reach for the refrigerator door and slowly pull it open, I'm greeted by a blast of wonderful, glorious, winter-like, cold air.  As I'm pulling out my pet food containers, CLICK.  The refrigerator motor starts, the room is filled with a familiar, friendly hum.  

Thank you, dear Lord God for your gracious kindness to one humble, rambling old woman.

Sometimes it's the most simple thing that can make my day, bring a lump to my throat and tear to my eye.

Is it about the food, or about the time

Time to get back into the groove.  Had a great eating visit over the weekend with my sister, we had food spilling out our ears, because not only had I ordered groceries, dear sister brought food with her.  My fridges were stuffed to the gills.  Not only were the refrigerators stuffed, I had forgotten what it's like to 'stuff oneself' as well. Whoa doggies!!!  Friday night was pizza with bread sticks, pasta, chicken wings and a malt, fruit flavored cocktail, too.

Saturday, after shopping, for h-o-u-r-s, we went for lunch at one of those fast food places.  I can't believe I ordered a triple burger, an extra order of fries, and a strawberry sundae.  Even more, I can't believe I ate the whole thing...well, except for the sundae.

Dinner Saturday is a blur...I've not idea what the heck I ate, but I do know it was my sister's birthday, and while we were watching movies during the evening, we had mixed berry pie and our sundaes purchased earlier in the day for dessert.  Before going to bed I sneaked off to the bathroom and devoured several tummy 'settling' tablets.

Come Sunday morning I was still blown up like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day balloon. I almost swore I would never eat again.  But then, the Indy 500 Race started, and before long I wanted food...so, my sister and I put out 'snacks'...well, it was more like a picnic, with salads, cheeses, meat, and chips with dips and munching began. Oh, yeah.

Now, you have to remember the refrigerators.  Although we had managed to eat quite a bit of the food, mucho, mucho, mucho, remained.  And, as my sister was getting ready to head for home, I tried to get her to take some of the stuff home with her.  Considering she had hauled some of it  from there she had no desire to haul it back, so as a result, I've mucho, mucho, mucho stuff left to eat.  Not that I'm complaining, mind you, it's just I hope I can finish all of it without getting too fat to waddle to the kitchen.  LOL.

Thank goodness for freezers, because quite a bit of the goodies are already in them, like the left-over pizza and pasta for example, and the cakes...oh, did I forget to mention them?  The pie is long gone, but there's half a carrot and lemon pudding cake in them as well as a containers of breakfast muffins and pastries. You'd have thought I was expecting half the National Military Corps instead of one birthday celebrating sister as company.

But, really the weekend wasn't about the food it was about spending time with family.  Hanging out, catching up, shopping, relaxing, enjoying company.  It was great, and I wish we could do it more often.  Thank goodness for the Internet, and the telephone at least it's easy to keep in touch through those mediums.  You never know what's going to happen 'just around the bend', so we have to make the best of every opportunity that come our way and make the most of it.

So, though there were not enough hours in the weekend, thanks sister for the good times, good times.

Whoooo, hoooooo.

My sister's coming, my sister's coming!

There's going to be shopping, there's going to be eating, there's going to be gabbing, there's going to be the Indy 500, and who know's what else...maybe a movie or two and perhaps even some afternoon checking of the insides of our eyeballs.

I'll be back next week.

Thanks for stopping by.

I swear...

...I don't know what comes over me.

Yesterday, after Bible Study, my study partner and I went to Happy Hour.  It was a lovely afternoon so we chose a restaurant that had outdoor seating.  It was lovely, overlooking a lake.  Our table had a huge black umbrella that shaded the table and us quite nicely.

Our waiter was as handsome young man that I imagined was working his way through college.  He was very personable, and of course asked we wanted to start with a libation.  Are you kidding me?  Of course we both said yes.  I think my companion ordered a Lemon Drop, or something fancy like that.  I asked if the bar stocked a Rye Whiskey.  He said he would check...believe it or not some bars do not stock Rye.  He came back and announced they did have Rye.  I ordered a double on the rocks.

He came back with the Lemon Drop and a single shot of Rye for me and said he would return with my second shot soon.  What the heck?  A bar that runs out of booze.  This stuck us funny, and we had a good chuckle over this.  We envisioned our bar tender sending somebody out the door and around the bend to the closest state run liquor store.  

In the meantime we ordered our meals and started enjoying our drinks.  My friend had crab cakes and salad; I (on the other hand) ordered three hamburger shooters and a side order of fries.  Eventually my second shot or Rye arrived. 

We sat and chatted for quite some time.  Soon, our waiter returned with the check. We still had some drink left and I asked to see the dessert menu.  He was about to leave, when... (And I swear I don't know what comes over me) I said.  "Hey, I'm an old lady who's going to turn 80 in a couple of years, are you brave enough to 'surprise me' with a dessert?"  

This kind of threw him for a loop and he sputtered for a bit.  Then my companion said, "Why don't you ask her some questions about what she likes."  He did, then turned and left.  I asked him to make it to go.  After a while, a new waiter brings my dessert, on a plate, with two forks.  It was supposed to be to go, right? And, they offered to take it back and box it but I said "never mind, we'll eat it here", which we did.  

His surprise was a delicious piece of Key Lime Pie with a mountain...I'm talking mountain of whipped cream. It was amazing, it was huge, and between the two of us only a tiny bite of graham cracker crust was left.  It's a good thing I don't eat out often; those desserts would kill me.  

As we were walking to the car, I said to my companion that I don't know what comes over me, that I do such ridiculous things like ask my waiter to surprise me with dessert.  But, I'm sure glad I did, because, upon reflection I don't believe I've ever had a whole piece of Key Lime Pie.  I think I might have had a 'taste' of somebody else's piece of pie, but never one of my own.  Man, I've been missing out.

Anyway, I just might make this a habit when I dine out, imagine all the sweet, delicious desserts I'm going to have I might never try by choosing it on my own.  

Yesterday

Yes, yesterday I wrote about my neighbor's chickens, and the saga surrounding their attempt to survive under some very adverse circumstances, including an attack from a roaming dog.  They've come and they've gone.  Just exactly how long this experiment continues is anybodies guess.

As I was winding down yesterday's blog I mentioned one of the chickens got into my back yard and that I was going to ignore her until she found her way back home. Of course in the end I could not mind my own business and I was eventually able to corner this particular hen, and I think I said "flopped her back over the fence".
 

I also mentioned I could be like 'birdlady' was with me and go confront my neighbor and demand they keep the chickens on their side of the fence, and even threaten them that I'm going to report them to the health department.  Frankly, it's not my nature to do that, and I don't care they have chickens, but I can't have them coming into my yard because I don't want my doggy to chase and eat them.  Zorro lives with them quite nicely as long as the fence is between them.

So, yesterday morning, after I was done working I decided to do something with my fence instead.  First I went out back to see how much fencing I was going to need to fill the gap from where his fence ended and where the end of the property line is.  I discovered a four foot patch job was too short, and a five foot patch job just a tad to long.  I opted for a five foot repair job.

Next, I waltz myself into my garage and looked for and searched out my leftover, everyday variety, collapsible fencing, I put around my front yard a couple of years ago.  By golly, I not only had five feet, I had well over that, am I a lucky son of a gun or what?  I take a screwdriver and pry open the end of the fencing that measured exactly at the five foot mark and took it out to my picket fence to study how to attach this metal hunk to the top of it.  Hmmm.  I tried a simple weaving in and out trick, but it looked awful, and I could tell it would never stay in place.  Then I thought I would (like my neighbor) use my art/crafters wire and attach it that way. But close inspection of his wire told me that would not work, as his was already rusting away.

WAIT   A    MINUTE!

Just last year, while on a shopping spree I bought a package of bungee cords.  It contained a wide variety of sizes and colors of cords so I rummaged through the package and lo, I found six that were exactly the same size and color, and thought "whoa doggies, these just might work."

I put my fencing on top of my picket fence, and working from the middle outward, I was able to wrap the bungee cords around my pickets and the part of the metal fencing that should have been pressed into the ground. DA DA.  This technique worked like a charm.  Actually, I still can't believe that it did.  I'm a very happy camper.

Now, here's the thing.  Remember when I said chickens aren't dumb creatures.  You should have seen them yesterday.  I have to say I had quite the audience while I was preforming my magic.  They watched with great curiosity what I was doing.  I told them not to be offended, it was nothing personal I was going to deny them access to my back yard, I was simply trying to protect them from....well....you know.

There you have it, I've averted a problem before it even had a chance to be one.  Sometimes I amaze myself. Excuse me while I go pat myself on the back.