When I woke up this morning I was giddy.

Yes, I really was, because I knew something Frankie and Muse didn't know.  My package was arriving today, my secret purchase was about to become known.

If you remember last week I wrote and said my Muu-Muus (according to the tracking I was doing) would be arriving today, and I was going to let one of the girls go to the mailbox to bring the package home.  I had a hard time believing I actually kept this secret.

As I was busy yawning and wiping the sleep from my eyes, I felt something move on my shoulder.  It was Angel awakening herself from sleep.

Me:  "How long have you been here?" I inquire.

Angel:  "A little after midnight."  She replied.

Me:  "Why didn't you wake me, is it something important."

Angel: "Maybe a little.  I think I found a flaw in your mailbox plan."

Suddenly I'm wide awake, what the heck is she talking about?  The plan was simple, what could go wrong, I was going to win the war.

Me:  "Go on."

Angel:  "Well, I know how humans like good 'come up 'in's,' and this could have been a really, really good one, but...."

Me:  "Could you get to the point please."

Angel:  "Suppose, now...just suppose Frankie or Muse do indeed pick up your package, and suppose as you suspect they know exactly what's inside, but suppose, just suppose rather than bringing it in and giving it to you they decide to play 'keep away'.

I'm stunned.  That scenario had never crossed my mind.  They are younger, more agile and unfortunately several inches taller than I. They could keep that package out of my reach, well, forever if they chose.  Suddenly I saw myself jumping and arm flailing around the place like a frog on a hot skillet.  This wasn't funny anymore. I wanted to smack Angel, but I knew she was only trying to help so I simply thanked her and asked if she any idea what I could do instead.  Her advice..."Pick up your own package."

At least I had a few hours to try to think of something.  I stewed.  I fretted.  I tried to maintain my composure; I didn't want the girls to know a wheel had come off the trolley.

It seemed to me I would have to get the package myself, and I did. Fortunately Frankie and Muse didn't notice the mail had been delivered so I quietly left the apartment and slunk my way to the box. Now I just had to get back inside unnoticed.

Uh-oh!

Frankie: (Pouring a cup of coffee.) "What's in the package?"

Me: (lying my pants off.)  "Oh, couple of weeks ago I ordered some pretty kitchen towels, that's all."

I don't even stop walking but head straight for the bedroom and do something most unusual...close the door.  Then I do something even more unusual (after I opened the package) I disrobe and redress myself in not one but all six Muu-Muus.  I admire myself in the full length mirror as Angel 'puffs' herself into the room on a silvery cloud.

Me:  "I know, I know, I look ridiculous."

Angel:  (Nodding.)  "Yes, yes you do.  And, your game plan is?"

Me:  Well, I know I'm in for some good old fashioned ribbing and possibly a lot of ridicule as well for this purchase, and I can take that. What I don't want is for Frankie and Muse to make a grab for them should I carry them out for them to see. So I figure since I'm an old woman, if I have them on my equally old body they might laugh themselves near death but they would never try to pry them off me.  My Muu-Muus would be safe and so would I.

Angel shakes her head in an 'I can't believe she ate the whole thing' kind of way and leaves without a word.

I slump onto the bed, wearing all six articles of clothing.  I have to muster up some courage to face whatever it is the girls choose to do or say.  It's true you know, "pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall."  I have to admit not only have I lost the battle, I've lost the war.  Oh, I got what I wanted alright, and I'm quite pleased with my purchases, the Muu-Muus are beautiful...but somehow there is nothing sweet in humble pie laced with the agony of defeat.