Melancholy

Uh-oh, today is the first day of my annual autumn 'melancholy'.  It happens every year.  For ages I've tried to deny this is going to occur.  I've finally come to grips that it will.  Actually, I can trace this melancholy to its origin when I was a very young woman...it involved the loss of the man with whom I though I was going to live the rest of my life.

It was the Labor Day Weekend.  I won't go into great detail 'cause I don't want you to become melancholy, too.

Needless to say, with that holiday weekend approaching...I can feel my inner-self preparing for yet another anniversary of September sorrow.  However, today, I took a different approach to this folly.  Remember yesterday I advised everybody to "Breathe deep, and go with the flow."  I decided to do exactly that.

So, I went outside and simply sat in the sun.  I didn't take a book, or even some crocheting.  Nope, I simply sat and let the last of the August suns wash over me.  It was wonderful.  I watched the clouds, I watched my dog, I looked and examined my brown, water starved lawn.  How interesting...the grass wasn't dead...deep, deep, close to the soil, there were tiny, almost microscopic blades of green.  Peculiar I never took notice of that. I think I simply took for granted the grass came back with the October rains, when actually, (like spring buds) the blades are already there, waiting, waiting, patiently waiting for their moment of rebirth.

Oh, how wonderful the sun felt.  It crept to the core of my melancholy, and soothed me.  The melancholy, slowly crept back into the crevice of 'time to come'.  I eventually walked around the house, and saw spider webs glistening in the sun, wafting slowly in the morning breeze.  I didn't have the heart to destroy them and ducked my way under or around them.  Then Zorro and I meandered back to the house, I could feel my melancholy was at rest for the day.  I vowed, I would keep it there, with my mind open for unexpected pleasures and explorations.

So, here I am, back at work.  I feel regenerated, renewed, eager to start new projects.

Perhaps it's time to put my melancholy permanently to rest.  No, I can't allow that to happen, because if I did, that would mean I also had to permanently put to rest the memories of the love of my life.  I simply cannot, I will not allow that happen.

Welcome back September, welcome back, old friend, melancholy.