Something's afoot

Hummm, I wish I knew what the heck is going on. Something is afoot.

Frankie has been unusually, quite for about a week now, there's been no 'put downs', harassing, or nagging.  Let's face it, that is NOT Frankie.  She has always, always, ALWAYS had something to say about EVERYTHING.  Instead, she has been going around 'humming (can you believe that?), not complaining about peanut butter crackers, and even stays out of the office from eight til noon.  Ladies and gentlemen...this has me in a tizzy, what IS she up to.

I'd love to ask...but I'm afraid of what she might say...or...do.  I know she's contemplating something, and the anticipation of what it might be has me at the point of wanting to jump out of my skin.  It's gotten to the point I'm afraid of my own shadow...(Which, by the way, I have been fortunate to see on a regular and frequent basis these days.)  I think I can handle anything she can throw at me, I hope...just get it over with...ahhhhhh.

But there is one thing I, with absolute certainty, could not handle, and that is that she would leave me and our little family.  She has brought joy, excitement, fun, and pleasure to us, and her going would leave a void that we would have a difficult time filling.  So, I've got to find out what's going on in thecomplicated wiring of her unique brain...even though that's a scary thought.

I'm remembering when Kabooa left, Bonnie's imaginary monster, he never said he was going, left no note, and didn't even say good bye.  When I asked where he was, Bonnie simply said, "Oh, he went home."  We never spoke of his leaving again. After years of setting a place for him at the table, giving he bowls of noodle soup, telling him good night he simply, wordlessly left.  I don't want Frankie to do that.  I'll DO whatever it TAKES to make her stay.

Shhhhh.  She just walked by the doorway...I don't want her coming in the office and reading this.

Wish me luck...that what ever it is, I have to get to the bottom of it.  What is it they say...'face your fears'?  (insert sigh here.) I'm hoping this is nothing worse than her jumping out of a closet, causing me to pee my pants a little.  I'm gonna' do it...face the fear...as soon...as I get the courage.

I'll keep you posted.

Take, get, go and have

Well, missy is in rare form this morning.  Frankie has been busy catching up on magazines that I in a moment of weakness I subscribed to, and have no time to read, thank you Frankie for your interest.  Her reading gave me time to finish up some work I didn't get done yesterday without interruption..

When I was through I went to the living-room and announced, "I'm going to take a shower."

Frankie:  (Be-mused,  looking up from her magazine) "Where are you going to 'take' it?"
Me:  "Oh, I guess, I mean I'm going to get a shower."
Frankie:  "Where are you going to 'get' it?  Is it on sale at the mall?"
Me:  "Geeze, Frankie.  I'm going to go shower."
Frankie:  "Exactly how far are you going to go?  Salem, Pennsylvania, Europe?"
Me:  "What is your problem?"  "I'm going to have a shower."
Frankie:  "What kind?"  "Bridal?"  Baby?"
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  What the heck do you want from me?"
Frankie:  "I'm teaching you a lesson."  This chick is in her glory, smug little ass lass that she is.
Me:  "Yeah, what kind?"
Frankie:  (Deep sigh---with resignation)  "I think you and your stupid Muse are rubbing off on me.  Remember your conversation with her the other day, about writers using 'unnecessary' words, and how to 'tighten up' sentences?  Well, you have no idea how much YOU do that when you talk.  So, I'm teaching you a lesson.  Tighten up sister, sister, tighten up.  You do not take, get, go or have a shower.  You are simply, going to shower.



Me:  "Ouch!"  (That hurt.)

Out of whack

It's funny how one tiny thing done out of order can screw up your whole morning.

I have to confess my mind has been filled with ladybugs, and bumble bees.  Sadly, I guess I'm finally at the age when 'multi-tasking' is no longer something I can do with ease.  The 'back story'  is I spent yesterday working on cards of bumble bees and lady bugs, and want to finish that up today...but realize there are also other things that must be taken care of (like laundry)...so, my normal morning routine is second in my mind.

Therefore I'm forgetting things, like, giving Zorro his peanut butter so I could make my bed in peace.  Then, I got the peanut butter jar out, forgot I had done that, and looked in the fridge only to find it was not there.  What the heck?

Out, out, damn butterflies and bumble bees...I have things to tend to.

But, they are buzzing around, worse than a ringing in your ear, and refuse to leave the muddle of my brain.

There is no sense in dwelling on mundane chores...I need more bumble bees, I must have bumble bees, and can't wait to go on line to find stores that sell crafting bumble bees.  Apparently, they are not very popular.  I found a few to purchase, but for the most part I was very disappointed with the selection available.  I think perhaps they are not popular because they hurt badly when you are stung.  However, the crafty, cartoony, ones are rather cute, and I think they will make adorable cards, so I will persist in my quest to find some.

Everything else...GO AWAY, since multi-tasking has apparently become a 'chore', I fear I am a danger to myself, CC, Zorro, and Frankie.  Heaven only know what they will have to endure until I can finally release butterflies and bumble bees from my muddle.

Priorities

So, coffee in hand I arrive at work, turn on my computer, check I-Ching, e-mail and am in the process of deciding what to tackle next when Zorro enters the room.  He gives me that 'Oh, crap' look and leaves the room.

Next, Frankie enters.  She leans against the storage chest and announces, "Ya, know, I could write the preamble to the Constitution in the dust of this room."

Me:  "And, so?"

Frankie: "Well, don't you think someone should do that?  Dust I mean, not write the preamble?"

Me:  What do you suggest?"

Frankie"  "I happen to know your cleaning supplies have taken up a lease in your supplies closet, they might enjoy a day out."

Me:  "Really?...and...?  Again, what do you suggest?"

Frankie:  (With great emphasis, disgust, and aplomb.) "Get you dang self out of that dang chair and fling a rag around."

Me: (Unaffected by this rant.)  "Uh-huh."  (I’m loving this; Frankie is sooo easy to get riled up.  The calmer I stay, the riled-er she becomes.) 

Frankie:  "You, you, you..."

Me:  (In my head...Uh-oh, here it comes.)

Frankie:  "One of these days...one of these days."  She waves her arms around like a lunatic, sputtering something about THAT being my job and I really need to do something about it...

Me:  (More calm than ever.) "...and, you don't know how to fling a rag?"

Frankie, sputters in defeat, harrumphs from the room, heaven forbid she should 'work'.   Ah, peace and quiet.  I won and doubt I'll see her again till noon.  She and Zorro can console each other watching TV while I enjoy the pleasures of my creativity.

In the meantime, the dust will continue to gather, I think until it's thick enough to write the next great American Novel in it...it will continue to do so.

Pondering

Something very unusual happened a couple of days ago.  I got the first of many packages I ordered from many different places, and since this particular place requires that I sign for the order, I had to open the door to receive the packages.

Zorro went bonkers, I mean I thought he was going to attack this guy.  The fur from his neck to the tip of his tail was standing straight, tall, and angry looking.  I could not believe my eyes.  He would not stop growling, and if were not for the fact that two good sized boxes was on the floor between him and the delivery guy I think he just might have attacked.  I tried to calm him down, but he would have none of it.

His action really had me on edge, what was it about this man that Zorro was reacting so aggressively?  I've had a lot of dogs over the years, and I've always been aware they have not been particularly friendly toward some people, but never, like Zorro was with this gentleman.

True, I don't know Zorro's entire background and he has always had a problem warming up to people, though I must say he has come along way when it comes to accepting people coming into the house.  But, as for the delivery guy of a few days ago I don't think Zorro would ever, ever warm up to him and frankly, I hope he and I never see this particular fellow again.

What was even more funny was the guy did not react to Zorro at all.  I think most people would have backed away, maybe even have put their hand on the door in an attempt to close it.  Not this guy, he just stood there steely faced saying absolutely nothing, not one comment about Zorro's actions.  We completed business and he simply turned on his heel and left.

 Let me tell you, Zorro, examined those boxes, as thought they might have contained explosives or some other deadly materials, another first.  Usually a quick sniff, and he's done...I'm sure thinking "old lady's been shopping AGAIN".

Some wise scholar, sometime said, if your dog does not like somebody it is best you don't like them either.
I now think that is very sage advice, whatever it was that Zorro was reacting to, made me think of all the mystery shows I watch where women get attacked in their own homes.

Like I said, I hope we never see that guy again.

Scream 3

A couple of weeks ago I had a nightmare.  I don't like nightmares, how are we supposed to know what to be afraid of if we can't remember the dream...I'd really  like to know the monster.

Anyway, there have now been three times in my life that (in my dream) I scream loud enough to wake myself up.  I hate when that happens.  It is very disconcerting.  And, my reaction to each of these nightmares is...I start to giggle.  I try to stop it before it starts, but I have no control over this, and I roll from side to side in uncontrollable laughter.

I get myself to stop, for a second, but the absurdity of this whole thing makes me laugh even harder.   Oh no, I'm starting to giggle now...not good.

I mean, it's usually every early morning when these events happen, and I sleep with a window slightly ajar, I start to imagine the neighbors sending for the men in white coats.  Stop, I tell myself, I do, but this is followed by another fit of laughter.

This was the first time Frankie and Zorro witnessed my 'fit', and both are greatly concerned.  Zorro, emerged from under the blankets, and had his tiny face (literally) right next to mine, his eyes imploring I gain control.  Of course, this only throws me into another round of laughter.

Frankie, who had come into the room robe in hand, is concerned and tells me if I don't stop she's going to throw cold water on me...more laughter.

Eventually, I do gain control, and while I reassure Zorro with lots of loving, Frankie sits on the edge of the bed while I try to explain what happened.  I'm not sure she believed me.

Frankie:  Well, just don't ever do that again, you scared me.
Me:  Imagine how I felt, something scared me, too.
Frankie:  Does this happen often?
Me:  No, thank goodness.
Frankie: ...I don't think I can go back to sleep.
Me:  "Once upon a time, there were three bears...

The peak

I recently discovered the philosophy of I-Ching, thanks to a dear friend.  I've always been skeptical of such things and, to be honest, avoided them.  So when this friend wrote about it, I inquired, checked out the web-site she used, and that is how I, then, came to I-Ching.  Thank you, Kathryn.

I love how practical I-Ching is, how it is not afraid to take me away from my pompous place, does not always say "life is going to be a 'bed of roses'" yet frequently offers good sound advise.  Like this morning.

It talked about reaching the peak of a mountain, and how the closer you get to the top, the more clear the way becomes.  But, that once you've reached the top, you can not only see where you've been, how hard the trek, you can also see where you need to go.  

The view is beautiful and inspiring, somehow the dangerous snags you encountered on the way up have minimized, and you don't even think of the ones that lie ahead, simply because from this viewpoint you cannot see them.  

I know I'm getting ever closer to my current peak...I'm excited to get there.  Today,I-Ching pulled me back into reality, reminding me that although I'm getting close to my peak, it will not be the end of my journey, so, if you don't mind I would like to end this blog entry with a snippet of my message for today....

"...however, when you do reach the peak, which has been in sight for quite a long period of sustained effort, you will have done only that. You will have reached the top — achieving your initial goal — but you must still descend the other side. This last critical segment is what remains before completion. 

You may have little information and no experience of what it's like descending the other side of the mountain. All your attention may have been focused on the route up. The coming cycle may seem very strange to you, unlike anything that you have experienced before. The backside of the mountain is where all of the true mysteries reside. Proceed carefully, cautiously and alertly — then you will reach your goal."

This, friends and family is why I enjoy visiting my I-Ching every day.