Tra, la, la, la, la.....la, la, la....la

It's here, it's here, it's almost here.

December...

the last but best month of the year....where did the rest of the year go???????

Today I feel like a kid left all alone in a candy store with a fifty dollar bill.

So here I sit trying to figure out exactly how to spend my December moments goggling...'er blogging, when there's a knock on my door.

There on my front stoop is a guy from UPS with a package...it was "A Partridge in a Pear Tree".

The card read that it was a gift from, 'MY TRUE LOVE.'

WOW!

What a great gift.  Partridges are edible, I know because I immediately went on-line and found a few recipes, that sound delicious.  Apparently you roast them, as you would a duck, chicken, or turkey, and smother them in bacon, mushrooms, and if you like a zesty flavor, you can drizzle lemon juice over them 'whilst' they are roasting.  Or, you can prepare a hardy stew with them by adding potatoes, onions, carrots and cabbage, perfect for the 'family home decorating' evening meal.

Poor Partridge.  Such a pretty little bird...sad he should end up in a roasting pan or cooking pot.  Perhaps I will keep him for a pet.

However, the second part of this gift is even better...it's a Pear Tree.  How delightful.  Who would not like to get a pear tree for Christmas. AND...WHERE IN THE WORLD DID 'MY TRUE LOVE' FIND ONE IN FULL LEAF THIS TIME OF YEAR IN ORDER TO HIDE A PARTRIDGE IN IT?

Aside from the fact I have no idea what to do with this tree til spring when I can plant it, chances are it will  eventually sit leafless in a room somewhere.  Also, considering my luck with growing trees I don't believe it will have much of a future at all...and will remain leafless, and lifeless in a pot somewhere in a back corner of my property.

Still, I do appreciate 'my true love's' thoughtfulness, I must think of something to send him in return.

Hmmm, can't wait to see what else might turn up on my stoop this month.

Two hundred miles from home.

I guess I must have had some kind of look on my face.

Frankie:  "Uh-oh."
Me:  "Uh-oh, what?"
Frankie:  "Somethings the matter, you look like that grey cloud from the breakfast sandwich commercial."
Me:  "I thought I was going to get through November without getting depressed."
I sigh heavily.
Frankie:  "Except for the day before yesterday, you were doing pretty darn good.  Did you sleep well last     night?"
Me:  "Yeah, I slept okay.  And, day before yesterday, was well...just a bad day...that had nothing to do with with my November slump.  Today I feel...I feel...I feel..."

Frankie was settling in, I know she wanted more, how was I going to be able to explain.  Maybe I should write rather than talk.  Frankie is looking over my shoulder, her arms firmly planted on the back of my office chair as I begin to type.

'---November is my month of melancholy, and I have always allowed myself to be swept along on the swells and troughs as each day slowly ebbs to December.  However, after last year's horrible November, I decided enough was enough and I was not going to let this month to get the better of me this year, or ever again.

This morning I awoke and felt as though I was two hundred miles from home.  You know what I mean?

It's like you've been on a fantastic, adventurous, vacation.  You're tired, and yearn for your own pillows, blankets and bed.  Excited to pull into your driveway.

You check the time, gauge your speed, miles traveled, and realize you are two hundred miles from home.

Suddenly you don't want your holiday to end.  The urge to slam on the brakes is overwhelming.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

Why are these last two hundred miles so important?  It's that spot between a rock and a hard place...tiny, insignificant yet hugely important.  It's that space between getting out alive or getting crushed.

I've been hustling and bustling through November, it was a holiday/vacation, it had gone so well.  I was having a ball.  Then this morning I realized I had two hundred miles to go before the month was over.  I wanted to speed ahead and get it over with...but at the same time I wanted to slam on the brakes.  November had been good and I had accomplished so much.  If the month didn't end, I'd still have time to finish things.

What was I going to do with these last two hundred miles?---'

Frankie:  "Yeah, what are you going to do?"
Me:  "I guess the only thing I can.  Slow down...take it one mile at a time, accomplish what I can with each mile that remains...and pull into the driveway at midnight November 30th."

Sixes and sevens

Man, today I am at sixes and sevens...can't keep a clear thought in my head for more an a minute and a half. I started out great, at 6:30 AM I was up and bunching Thanksgiving decorations together to store til next year.  But, then I thought maybe I should check e-mail, Facebook, and do a little company business, so the decorations are still in piles.

Then, I decided I should take a look at all the new Christmas decorations I had bought last week, and now they are scattered all around my office, and my hands are covered in glitter...no doubt my face is, too.

Jump, jump, jump.  I'm now inspired, and I'm back on my computer scanning my newly purchased Christmas card decorations in to my publisher program to make more holiday cards.

Bam...What am I thinking...clean-up, clean up.  So I start to file some things away...boring...and besides I had forgotten to post anything on Facebook, and also, I had neglected my blog this morning.  And, here I am, bippity, bippity, bopping around trying to put words here on this page.

Christmas decorations cover my desk, and two work spaces.  The Thanksgiving decorations cover the top  of my storage chest of drawers, and my kitchen counters.

My dog is antsy...my hands are freezing...I'm hungry...flippity, floppity, flop.

I'm going nowhere...and the day is fleeting away.

I think I need one of my anxiety pills before I make myself crazy.

Zippity, zappity, zit....I'm out of here.

Move over hairspray

...there's a new kid in town.

I week ago I was chatting with a friend and mentioned how I was trying not to use hairspray much anymore, but I missed not having better control over my hair.

She mentioned I should try Hair Gel.  I said I have even thought about that, but having never used it I was not sure if I could get the hang of that, and that maybe it wouldn't work very well.

Surprise...I eventually did decide to at least check Gel out, and the next time I went shopping at my refurbished Fred Meyer's store I went to the hair products aisle.  Oh, my gosh, I could not believe the products...for an old lady who has for years been a cheap shampoo/conditioner, one brand only hair coloring and cheap hair spray kind of gal, I went into culture...'er...coiffure shock.

There's stuff to enrich your hair, strengthen your hair, straighten your hair, add body to your hair, bring out the natural curl to your hair, color the roots to your hair, and on and on and on products.

My cart and I had pretty much clogged the aisle, and I was so lost in my thoughts that when a young woman walked up behind me, it took me a few seconds to moved my cart out of her way.

She politely said I was fine, and added she was looking for a new hair dryer, that her husband had finally, and at last blown their ten year old one out the night before...they badly needed a new one.  So while she was searching the products behind me I was still standing there like a deer in the headlights wondering whether to take flight, or fight.  I finally asked, "Do they still make Hair Gel?"

She replied they did indeed, but they didn't have a special section, the hair products were lumped by manufacturer, so I needed to look for a specific brand.

"Oh, dear."  I said, and started to walk back to the beginning of the aisle.

She took pity on  me...I must have looked perplexed as all get out.

"This is the brand I use," she stated, "although, I don't need or use their Gel."

She lead me to a brand I recognized immediately.  You know the one with the cute Kangaroo, that carries all their products in it's pouch...but loves to share.

"Here it is."  She said pointing to their Gel.  "And, look, it's on sale."

And, it was...boy, was I excited. I told her I was going to buy the two, and with her recommendation, I would definitely give their other products a try.

I thanked her profusely, and left her standing there trying to make her own decision...man, there are a lot of hair dryers, too.

Picture this, everyday, ever since my Gel purchase, I'm trying to learn how to use the darn stuff.  Too much, and my hair clumps together...I look like the young guys that walk around with 'spike' hair.  Too little, and I don't have the proper amount to complete my 'do'.  So, I never know exactly what my end result is going to be...but no matter what, it is much, much, much better than trying to coiffure first then glue it into place with spray.  Gel stays wet much longer and I have time to fool around with my hair until I am at least 75% happy with my result.  I'm getting better, but there is still a long row to hoe.

I think I'm getting to old for all this nonsense, and I confess there are days I'm tempted to shave my head and go buy that adorable pink wig I keep seeing in my neighborhood wig shop.

One of these days....
one of these days.

Shedding Tears

I am a very private person when it comes to crying.  I like to do it in private, mostly in my bathroom, or late at night after I get into my bed.  In both cases the tears freely flow, and I feel much refreshed after I'm done with a good long, self-inflicted, pity party, downpour.

However, there are occasions when periods of tears sneak up on me, they start with a huge lump in my throat and before I know it tears are freely flow down my cheeks.  This morning I can give you a very good example of this, and I sincerely hope you will take a few minutes to watch this little clip.  Even if you have seen this before it is well worth watching again.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/vcmfCXwAFs4

The lump in my throat started when the first girl stepped onto the escalator.  And, by the time the song was over tears were streaming down my face.  I felt good, warm and fuzzy inside, and was delighted at the response of all the people who were entertained by these beautiful young women...imagine how those folks felt, and how these few simple, heart felt, up-beat moments must have changed their day.  The mom with a tired child in tow, a husband who would have rather been home watching football, the old couple feeling alone and un-cared for...how this little act of kindness must have changed their attitudes, spirits, and over all outlook on life.

This time of year I'm easily overcome with emotions over the most simple things.  The Clydesdale horses pulling their decorated wagon through the snow.  The young man arriving home on furlough, making coffee for his family as a surprise, or, those cute little Hershey Kisses Bells ringing out 'We wish you a Merry Christmas', with that last little kiss ringing its heart out....ending with a wipe of his brow and a whew.

So, if you happen my by place between now and Christmas you will no doubt find me in tears, because Christmas music pretty much makes me cry as well.  Take "I heard the Bells on Christmas Day"  that will cause the dam to open and many tears will reach my chin before I have time to wipe them away.  "Oh, Holy Night"  is another that will cause an avalanche of water. "Have yourself a merry little Christmas",  "White Christmas",  "I'll be home for Christmas" will all get me to blubbering.  Oh and anything by Mannheim Steamroller, or the local Singing Christmas Tree....(insert tears here, for sure.)

I guess you could say this time of year I turn into a puddle of melted butter, or soft sappy syrup.  I simply can't help myself.  I think the tears rather than being cleansing for myself and my well being, are more about  the things I have bottled up for the hope of humanity.  All these songs have such profound messages, that we need to listen to them not only with our heads, but with our hearts. I feel we all long for one certain something to touch us during this time of year.  Whether it is to be home for the holiday, or wishing that we could.  Or, if it's the bells pealing out for 'peace on earth good will to men', or that we have belief we will have snow on Christmas morning.

Christmas tears, are good tears, emotional gut wrenching tears, Mine I shed for you, with the hope it will be my tears that help make all your Christmas desires, hopes, and dreams come true.

Happy holidays, Merry Christmas, and as Tiny Tim said..."God bless us, everyone."

Gues Who

Most of this year has been spent trying to establish my small publishing company.  It has been quite the ride.

 Time consuming, yes.  Mysterious, my goodness, yes.  Terrifying, sometimes, yes.  There are trademarking and copyrighting issues.  Research, money, and putting myself and my reputation right out there on one long, blank, empty__________________________________line.

Whew.

Ever since I registered  my company with the State of Oregon, I've been getting very unusual mail...they make me feel good, cause financial companies are falling all over themselves offering me incentives to switch over to them, some offering a $250.00 deposit in my brand new checking account.  Oh, and Small Company  credit, debit cards...wow.  Funny stuff, how in the world did these people get the idea I have be-jillions of dollars to start my company.  I've barely got the proverbial 'shoe string'.  Trust me, these banks are crazy...my company may not even be around this time next year.  I'm simply running with it, my ideas, my fortitude, my will, and my excitement at being creative every single day.

However, yesterday was the 'top banana' of requests.  I get a call from my cable/Internet/phone company.  It is a young lady, almost as eager as I am every day.  "Hi, I'm so and so, I see you have started a company and I was hoping you might have time to Blah, blah, blah.  Could I set up and appointment with you to have someone come by to talk to you about setting up a business bundle.  We think we can probably save you quite a bit of money."

Bless her heart, she really was sweet, kind and most certainly sincere.

When she stopped talking, I tried to be as honest and sincere as she was.  "Oh, honey,"  I said, "I don't know if my business will still be in operation next month let alone next year.  I'm still feeling my way, and have no idea where I'm going.  I don't think I'm ready to set up a business account at the moment, is there any way I could be put on a list for a call back in, let's say, 6 months?"

"Why, yes," she says, "I can."  And, she takes my name, and says she will call again then.

I'm excited...can you imagine...that in 6 months time I might be established well enough to have and need a business account with my cable/Internet/phone company.  I don't know what  my obligations would be, but what if I could advertise on TV with rates I could afford...wow, that really boggles my mind.

But, I should not put my cart before the horse...like the tortoise...slow and easy will help win my race.  I've always said I'm not doing this for the money, but for the love of the challenge, creativity and the joy of having a reason to jump out of bed and go to work.

So, Mr. Mailman, keep them financial company cards and letters comin'.  You too, United States Post Office, with your grandiose 'company start up' offers.

Even if my company goes 'bust' tomorrow, it is so great to feel wanted.

Thankfulness

By now you know I discovered I-Ching about a year ago, and I think that I have learned much from its insightful words.  I believe they have made me a better person.  Today it had sound advise.

It said, and I quote, "It's best to speak your heart today so that you don't mislead anyone.  Avoidance will only increase any misunderstandings; honesty is the best policy."

So, I have to admit I'm glad this is my last 'thankful'.   I appreciate you tolerance this past month.  Thank you, for that.

I want today to thank my family for putting up with me all these years.  I would like to list them all here, but with my addled brain I know I would forget someone, and rather than hurt any feelings, even by accident, I will simply say THANK YOU FAMILY, THANK YOU.

I want to do the same for my friends, those in my circle today, those I grew up with, those I worked with, all of whom have touched my life THANK YOU FRIENDS, THANK YOU.

I'm going to say thanks for the roof over my head, food on my table, money enough to survive, heat on chilly mornings, and a comfortable bed to fall into each night.  THANK YOU NECESSITIES, THANK YOU.

Then, there is nature, mysterious, beautiful...air, clouds, rain, sun...THANK YOU CREATOR, THANK YOU.

I could go on and on.  

So, I think you will be surprised with my thankfulness ending.

I'm thankful for Bird Lady, even though she hurt me deeply.

I'm thankful for the drivers who are so impatient they come up inches behind me as I'm trying to cross the street.  (So far they always miss me).

I'm thankful for all the people that will not allow me to get a word in 'edgewise'.  Come on people, I just might have something constructive to say.

I'm thankful for healthy food...I don't like you, you taste awful...but, it is great you are an option.  

I'm thankful for bad news because that make the good news so much better.

I'm thankful for my aches and pains, because I know my health could be so much worse.

But, most of all I'm thankful this is my last thankfulness posting, because THAT means Thanksgiving is tomorrow...yummm.