Saturday, July 27, 2013

Once upon a time...

...an Old Woman, preparing to retire, took her dog out for one last turn around the kingdom.  She, curious, about what someone might be able to see in her garage at night, peered through the windows of her garage door.  She was pleased to see, she could see nothing at all; not so much as her own shadow. 

So it was, Old Woman was filled with a certain comfort that no rogue could see her treasures held within and try to pilfer them.  She called her pup from the hinterland of the kingdom and retreated to the castle.

She finished her regime of closing and locking, and retired to her bed chamber.  Old Woman was very, very tired and even contemplated foregoing her evening dental habits, but...as usual, she could not. 

As often mentioned in Ye Olde Blogge, Old Woman no longer looks directly at herself in the mirror anymore, but focuses in on one particular thing.  This evening it was her hair that she had quaffed earlier that day.  She noticed two tiny black things resting atop her hair. 

"Ahhh!"  She thought, "Walking under the vines that quaintly surround my garage door I must have brushed against them, and, something has become stuck in my hair-sprayed curls."

She took her hand and removed the first thing.

But, the second blob, was not a simple thing at all.  To Old Woman's horror, it moved.  She tried once more to remove it...but it fell, out of sight...deep, deep, down to her...gasp, scalp.

Now, Old Woman had a mouth full of toothpaste, and she does not know about you...but for her, toothpaste left in her mouth too long becomes spicy...kind of hot...as well as being very, very bubbly.  So, she had no choice but to concentrate on the bubbles and not the black blob.  Besides, she had to decide how to trap the thing before it could set up residence and reproduce...God knows what.

Lo, as she finished brushing, the tiny, teeny, creature emerged from the depth of her scalp and was inching (footfall,after footfall) toward her forehead.  One more time she valiantly, ever so carefully tried to capture this living being.  In her mind it had become a Dragon that must be slain.  Alas, it disappeared....again.

Old Woman was beside herself...Her mind flew back to every horror movie she had ever seen, where creatures of all sorts made their way into someones inner ear and ate its way into the brain.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Old Woman's brain was sad enough as it was, she could not afford to have half of it eaten away.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Then she had a thought:  "I will simply brush my hair until this Dragon falls onto my shoulder."

And brush she did...Oh yes, Old Woman brushed, and brushed, and brushed.

No dragon emerged.

Eventually, dejected and fearful, Old Woman retired to her trundle bed.  Weary and bleary eyed, she could only hope that while she slept the Dragon would crawl out, cross her pillow and disappear. 

Old Woman slept fitfully.

Dawn slowly inched its way through the bed chamber drapery, Old Woman stirred.  Making her way to the nearest mirror she was delightfully pleased to see her head had not become encased in a spider's web, that no 'droppings' fell onto her shoulders as she brushed her locks, and there were no tickling, crawling sensations in either of her ears. 

Apparently the Dragon had been slain or perhaps had fled (for its own safety) during the night.

So it was the kingdom could get back to normal.

The end.





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