the faster I try to shuffle my feet, the slower I seem to move.
Seriously, where I used to be able to decorate my home for Christmas in only a day, this year it took three. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.
Where I try to keep up with my daily routine, I tend to concentrate on the fun stuff, rather than the mundane, like loading the dishwasher, where my tiny feet really, REALLY shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.
I've been trying to figure out if this shuffle is simply the time of year, or if I'm entering a new phase of my life. I think, I'm entering a new phase. I think we all, in some form or another adjust (sometimes badly) to these different phases. For instance, I think I did pretty well going from being a teenager to an adult...piece of cake really.
I even adjusted to independent living as an adult, it was exciting and fun, and full of new adventures.
Marriage, was a bit more difficult than I had expected, but I think part of that was because I moved into a 'blended family', and lots of new and different personalities came into my life. Mostly though it was pretty smooth sailing.
The next jump was even more difficult, where some people accept the next phase by going through 'a second childhood', or 'midlife crisis', I suffered in silence, boo, hoo, hooing while locked in the bathroom. It was not pretty.
Then, bam! I became a widow. Holy cow...and as bad as this might sound. I was back, baby...I was back. I loved being independent again...it was great.
Now...,,,well, frankly, I'm a bit weary of the independent life. I'm tired of repairs, tired of mundane, tired of worry about the future, just tired, tired, tired of looking out for myself...I think I'm ready for somebody to look out for me. Man, that sounds nice, doesn't it?
So, I sense I'm getting ready for a change. I don't exactly know what that means, or what exactly I expect or intend to do about this. I just know I'm pretty much done with my life the way it is. I simply hope I handle it the same way I did when I went from my teenage years into adulthood.