I know a lot of people have different ideas about what happens when a person passes away. Some believe we simply return to dust, some believe we go to a special place to wait for us to join them. Some believe parts of us remain among the living. I believe the latter. For several reasons.
First, when my dear mother passed away, we split up her clown collection. Frankly, I didn't really want any of it until I saw a cute little one that looked more like a little hobo laying on his tummy, fish pole in hand with a sunflower dangling on the end of his fishing line. I adored him, and asked if I could have just that one. So, I brought him home. Now, bear in mind, he is built to sit on a narrow ledge, because his left leg is positioned to hang down over the ledge. I discovered he fit nicely over the vanity mirror in the bedroom and that's exactly where I placed him.
This mirror is tall and narrow and almost give me a full body view, I honestly thought he would be very happy there and I could see and talk to him every day. He was a perfect reminder of my mom.
Well, it wasn't long before the clown fell down onto the vanity...it made quite a clamor and I figured it would be badly damaged. However, not so much as a tiny chip had broken off. I returned it to the top of the mirror. The thought my mother might have pushed it off, passed through my mind, but left that notion go.
Several months later, the clown fell again...once more there was no damage, and I put the clown back where it belonged. Mother, what are you trying to tell me? It was not long after the clown fell again, and again not even a sliver of paint was scratched or scraped during the fall.
Okay, Mom, I'm slow, but I get it, you do not like sitting on top of the mirror...
So, I moved the clown to my office and set it on top of my computer modem. She has not pushed the clown off not...once...and she's been there now for years.
Then when my husband passed away, for a couple of years he hung around the house, I could feel him sit on the bed beside him. I could smell his pipe, once he even touched me. Since our final years were not terrific, I felt he was trying to tell me something. I wanted to forgive his unbecoming behaviors, but it was hard. However, when I finally did, I think he realized just how difficult the last years had been for me and finally said he was sorry and went away. I've not seen or felt his presence since.
Now, I suppose you are going to find this next part even more difficult to believe than the part I've already written here, however, hang in there.
Mom loved butterflies, and one summer day while I was walking my yard, there in one of my gardens was a perfect specimen of a monarch butterfly. It had died, wings spread wide apart so I could see all the intricate designs the Creator had give it. I knew immediately it was a gift from my mother. I made a tiny box to hold the body, and I still have it today. Along the same line, my sister is frequently visited by a particular white butterfly that flits and flies around her when she works outside, she too, knows it's mom coming to check on her and send the message she (mom) is well and happy.
Finally, just last week, I got the news a dear cousin had passed away. I'd been sending her cards and enjoying long, sometimes silly conversations with her for several years. As we were passing the word of her passing among family members, I was talking to my other sister about her and I happened to wander to my living room storm door, and there, in the morning sky was the most beautiful, big rainbow I had ever seen. It was low in the sky, and arched just behind my across the street neighbor's house, and out of sight on my side of the street. I knew it was my cousin telling me she was finally at rest, at peace, physically well again, and happy to be joined with long passed family once more.
It was about this time I got an e-mail from my cousin's daughter who reported...way back in Ohio, that she and her siblings had received messages from their mother as well. Cousin Bruce had been given a miraculous sunny morning, while Cousins Gayle and Gary heard a 'thump' and discovered a cardinal had flown into a window, when they went to explore they were delightfully surprised to discover they were visited by a group of cardinals in their yard. Guess what? Cardinals just happened to be their mother's favorite bird.
Now, I'm sure many, many, many of you will say the above were/are all just coincidences, and nothing more. And perhaps they were/are. But as for me and my family, we choose to believe, that even though our physical body dies, and indeed returns to dust, there is a part of us, that lives on and looks over us, prepares a place for us, and waits for us to join them. What a comfort. And every time I look at my little fishing clown I know in my heart of hearts, it is my mom's way of saying...I'm still here, and you are doing okay...keep your faith...we'll be together again some day.
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