Sunday, February 14, 2016

Knives, and forks, and spoons, oh my!

I was watching the news Friday morning, and close to the end of the 7 O'clock hour the channel I most like to watch always has a trivia question that I find enjoyable and sometimes even educational.
The question on this particular day was something like..."What household item is most frequently lost (for good-not misplaced) and how many over the course of a year?"  I had no clue!

According to this particular survey, the item is the simple fork, and not just one but three.  Now normally I would have scoffed at this answer, and figured this survey was nuts.  However I'm a believer because over the course of a year I not only lose forks, but spoons and knives as well.

I'm not kidding.  With the ease that I've killed many, many vacuum cleaners over the years, I've also managed to lose all sorts of flatware. I've actually replaced complete sets of flatware TWICE. When the second set got down to three teaspoons, two forks, four knives and a few serving spoons I contemplated buying a third set but knew that would call attention to the fact the flatware had once again disappeared and knew that would not go over well.

My savior came unexpectedly when a new store opened just down the mall from the grocery store I frequented every week.  Of course I had to check out this new mercantile.  I was fascinated because the name indicated that every item in the store...not matter what it was...was one low price.  Talk about being intrigued.  I leisurely hummm-de-dummmed myself up and down the aisles.  Oh, this was truly a marvelous store.  Eventually I happened to saunter down the Kitchen Gadget Aisle. (Insert heavenly music here!)  What did I chance upon, but packets of flatware...each packet held either two teaspoons, two forks or two knives.  Oh, they weren't fancy or anything like that...but they were cheap and I bought many of each!

I gradually inserted them into my flatware drawer, and nobody seemed to notice the pattern from the old set was different from the cheap stuff I had recently bought.  I'm telling you it was amazing.  Not only could I (and did I) deceive my family I discovered a new talent...magic...I could bend not only spoons but forks as well.  Yep, a well placed thumb in just the right spot and I could bend the bowl of a spoon 'clean over' backward until it rested against the back of the handle.  Daaaaa, daaaaaa and roll the drums, please!

To this day I still continue to lose spoons, forks and knives.  So I cannot past up (ever) an opportunity to visit a 'one price for everything store' my first stop is always the Kitchen Gadget Aisle. This year I think I'm going to have to replace teaspoons,  I've noticed several of mine have disappeared just since September when I moved into my new 'pad'.

It was nice to find out on Friday that I am not the only one to lose flatware, however, what I'd like to know is, where the heck do those dang things go?

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