I wonder...

...how come I can have such intelligent conversations in my head, then talk like an idiot in public?

I posed that question to Frankie this morning.

This all started while I'm brushing through my new hair style (a buzz cut) and conversing with my brain about something (I can't remember what) when I said to myself  "Wow, I'm actually using 50 cent words, and using them in the right context."

Myself, responded, "Why yes you are and this has been a very stimulating conversation, thank you."

I felt pretty proud of myself that's how I happened to ask Frankie the question above.

Frankie gave me that look that shouted "IDIOT" and I could tell she didn't really want to voice her opinion, but silly me...I insisted.

She pointed out that I don't really converse very well in public, and that when it comes to being a 'listener' or a 'talker' I am and always have been a listener.  Listeners (according to her) have words, all kinds of wonderful words in their heads, but getting them to come out their mouths is like trying to navigate the Amazon river in an inner tube without so much as a paddle.  She pointed out there are rapids, rocks, tree roots, poisonous snakes and creatures with nasty teeth to maneuver around...and rather than fall out of the tube and getting eaten alive trying to search for the wonderful words, it is better and safer to listen to those of other people.  Listening is good.

I was stunned at her wisdom and how well she knows me.  She is absolutely right.  Oh, I can put words on paper, and I can talk to myself at great length (frequently out loud) like learned people with degrees up the yin-yang can do with ease.  Sadly, while in actual conversation I tend do 'putter and stutter around'.  Oh, I know the exact word I want to use, but have to pause mid-sentence in an attempt to draw it from the dark closet of my brain to tip of my tongue. Meanwhile the person I'm talking to has already drawn it from theirs and has finished my sentence for me.

I have to wonder; this listening/talking business am I blessed or am I cursed?  I would like to ask Frankie...but maybe some questions are best left unasked.