I've been crying me a river

The next few days are going to be the most tearful, they are every year.  I simply get 'sappy', can't help it, can't change it, don't want to.

I've already shed tears three times this morning.  Once a result of a news story about a guy handing out hundred dollar bills to people, Once when I turned on my Christmas tree lights, and once when I was looking up the lyrics on the Net for the song to Auld Lang Syne.  Where I learned there are a lot more verses than I imagines.  And the one that made me cry was:

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give me a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

And what exactly does auld lang syne mean, anyway, well according to Bing Dictionary it means the following: 

auld lang syne

• [ àwld lang zn ]

1. times long past: old times, or times long gone

How beautiful then that I would give my hand, and that you would give me thine.  And that we'd have a drink together, for time long past. 

I've no idea exactly why that made me blubber so.  Maybe because I don't know how many more New Year's I have left to extend my hand, or maybe because the list of names in my address book is becoming shorter and shorter so that the hands extending back are becoming fewer and fewer.  Or maybe it was because as the years have ebbed and flowed, the hand I extend, has become wrinkled, vein ridden, and is riddles with brown and beige age spots.  Regardless of the reason, I was suddenly overcome in a deep, chest racking, shoulder shuddering crying jag. 

I can't imagine how I will react as I watch the festivities via the Times Square Cameras come New Years Eve.  I'm supposing my little tray of crackers, cheese, meat tidbits and fruit will eventually become salty from the tears I will surely shed.

I've also been avoiding commercials showing abused animals, children in shelters and service men and women returning home to surprise their families.  Oh, and those the songs, where people will only be home in their dreams, or the one where the bells that peal more loud and deep saying God is not dead nor doth He sleep, promising the wrong shall fail, and right prevail, with peace on earth, good will to men, I just can't take them any more.  I want people home for real not in their dreams and I know God is not dead, and that wrong will fail, and right prevail, but I want that to happen now, waiting for it is taking much too long.

Maybe I'm meant to be a wreck this time of year.  Maybe I'd really like to be mushy all year long, but feel turning on my water works is only appropriate this time of year.  What ever!  I just know I'm going through a heck of a lot of tissues, and repairing my make-up quite a bit. 

If I could have one wish, it would be that the Christmas Spirit lasted 365 days a year, not just a few days before and a few days after.  What if we all shed tears at the same time, maybe together we could wash away the ugly, mean, evil forever.  And, we'd never have to shed tears again...if only it were that simple.

All we can do is not give up hope, and if shedding some tears helps to keep that hope alive, I think I don't mind shedding mine one bit.