Woof, woof

I'm in the bedroom sorting clothes, laundry day...what fun.

Suddenly there is a screeching sound and sputtering from the kitchen.  More screeching.

I dash to the ear shattering sounds yelling, "What's the matter, what's wrong?"

I hear a drawer open, drawer close, water rushing...what the heck?

As I turn the corner I find Frankie standing at the sink pulling a clean, unfolded dish cloth across her tongue.  She has a look of horror on her face, her eyes are bulging.

Me:  "Oh, Frankie, what happened?  I'm looking for blood, perhaps she has bitten through her tongue and it is hanging by thread.  Should I call 911?" 
Frankie: (Still wiping) "...ooww,bup, u mipe kall the poisum compol centa."
Me:  "What?" 
Frankie: (Taking time to refresh her wash cloth.)  "Call the poison control center."
Me:  "What on earth for?"
Frankie:  "I just ate dog food."
Me: (Trying very hard not to laugh)  "How on earth did you do that?"
Frankie:  "Well, I knew you had just given Zorro his peanut butter, and there was this brownish blob on the kitchen counter, so I scooped it up and put it in my mouth.  In that brief second of understanding...my taste buds told me this was not peanut butter, it was too salty and very beefy.  My brain finally caught up and said...'red alert, red alert...that's dog food...that's dog food...do not swallow'.  But, it was too late, I  already had."
Me:  "Frankie, you're not going to die, you won't even get sick."

I fixed us both a cup of 'Java', and we retired to the hearth to 'sit a spell'.  I explain to her that I've heard that some Seniors on very limited incomes and the homeless
sometimes dine on canned dog (and I suppose) cat food.  I tell her I don't know this to be fact, but that I believe it could be a true so...not to worry, she will be alright.

After a few swigs of vanilla flavored coffee Frankie is relaxed.

Me:  "You okay now?"

Frankie nods and takes a long draw on her coffee.

I tell her I'm going to go finish sorting the laundry.  As I get ready to start down the hall, I call back...

"By the way...you have 'doggie breath' "

...then run like crazy.  I love doing stuff that to Frankie.