Turmoil

I love, yet hate today.

Yes, it's summer.  I love that yesterday evening the lights came on in my piazza.  It is a most beautiful sight.  It literally, warms my heart...it is doing so right this very minute.  I swear!

I love that the birds are so wonderfully happy.  Their songs have been delighting me for days.  One sings close by, while off in the distance I can hear another sing back. I sit in silence and simply enjoy.

And, all those lawnmowers...and the smell of freshly mowed lawns...my, oh my.

This year I've decided to allow myself to ACTUALLY enjoy sitting outside and NOT  feel guilty that my furniture is dusty, the vacuum needs to be run, or that I should be making merchandise for my store.  It has taken time, but I'm starting to enjoy my afternoon 'sits' while guilt hides behind my front yard shrubs.  I'm learning to ignore it and not feel...well... guilty.

My neighbor's wild honeysuckle is in full bloom.  Is there honeysuckle growing near where you live?  Oh, my, the scent comes washing up on dancing fairies, that sneak up and tickle me with their wands under my nose. I breathe deep, dear friends, I breathe deep.

Then of course there are the long, slow to wane evenings with gentle breezes that wash me with the sun's lingering warmth.  Oh, what a joy.

Soon, I'll be smelling BBQ's.

Later crickets will lull me to sleep.

And, then, I'll remember why I'm not so crazy about summer.

The days get shorter, the leaves begin to fall, and my world turns avocado skin green.  The sun rises and sets farther and farther south along my earthly horizon, and the evenings cool more quickly.  Spiders weave their webs across my walking paths, and somehow mysteriously creep and crawl into my house...and (for unexplained reason) tend to like my bathtub.

Before I know it, I've eaten all my huckleberries, the hops have overgrown my garage door, and I'm starting to sneeze as grasses begin to seed, achoo, achoo, achoo.

Oh, I'm so conflicted.  How can a person love and hate something at the same time with such a passion?  I don't think I'll ever get it.

But, today I think I'll revel in the love, maybe tomorrow...maybe...I'll think about the hate.