Normal

According to my copy of Roget's SUPER Thesaurus NORMAL is:

standard, usual, typical, conventional, universal, traditional, regular, customary, accepted, average.

Funny how we take normal for granted. I've been bippity, boppity-ing through the year picking my nose and scratching my butt smiling like delightful Dopey from the story Snow White.  Not a care in the world, waking up, doing my job, humming a song and enjoying life.

Then, the world got a gigantic 'hick-up' and spit out a cold spell.  Well, damn!!!!!!!

All of a sudden I was hustling my scratched butt all around the place draining hoses, covering park benches, bringing in patio furniture, insulating outdoor faucets and bringing in my precious salmon colored geraniums.  What I expected was a couple of nights the temperature would get down to the freezing mark and we would have a killing frost.  That, dear friends is normal!

Is that what I got?  Nooooooo!

Now I know this is going to sound like a lot of complaining.           Okay, it is.

I did not expect an Arctic Blast, and that it would last for a week.  My poor little house was not built Arctic Blasts...it's barely built for killing frost!  So, when the cold came and kept coming, the beams and boards began to creak and moan.  My natural gas free standing stoves sputter, cough and wheeze trying to blanket the rooms in warmth, the baseboard heaters try to keep up.  In the meantime, I'm bundled up in thermals, T-shirts, sweats, fall colored crocheted vest, and two pairs of socks, shuffling through the house like an overstuffed turkey.  I'm sleeping with a dog, four rice filled socks heated in my microwave, and cuddle with a stuffed bear in my arms.

Are you getting the picture?  I hope so, because it's funny, shoot....I can't stop laughing. I'm going to write some songs and a script, I think I've got the makings of a Broadway Play.  It will be about an old woman who hates the cold, moves to Florida for a good warm 'rest' of her life, but, gets swept out to sea on a hurricane never to be seen again.  It ends as her loved ones stand on the beach throwing flowers into the water while loudly singing..."She did it her way", in Frank Sinatra style.  Good bye old woman.

But, maybe I can put that on hold for a while, 'cause my edjkated metrolgist tells me this morning the weather is changing, temperatures are going to rise, and rain is going to start falling tomorrow.

Come on, normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!