Scary

Earlier this year I had a bad dream, it woke me up, breathing hard.  I remember in the morning I tried to recall the dream but could not.  I only know it scared me, and I thought to myself, if this dream ever comes to an end, am I going to die?  Yes, I actually did think that, and I think that about the dream I have where I'm desperately trying to get home, too.  I can get close to home, but something always interferes and I wake up. I know...that's nuts. I wonder if other old people ever think the same thing about their bad dreams?

Anyway, last night I had a repeat of the bad dream I had earlier this year.  As it progressed, in my dream, I realized this dream was not going to end well, and my subconscious told me (in the dream), 'remember this dream, remember this dream'.

The dream moved on, to the exact spot as the first, and I woke up, breathing hard.  I was remembering the dream, I was pretty sure I didn't want to, I didn't like it.  Eventually I became dozy and sleep returned.

This morning, my first conscious thought was the dream, and I tried...oh, I tried hard to remember it. It's gone, I can't remember a single second of the dream, only that I had wanted to remember it and that it was bad, scary, and I'm left with the horror that if the dream even ends...I'm gonna' die.

Boy, I bet Freud would have a field day with this.

Sigh.