Whatever happened to...

...a good, ole pie in the face.

I spent the summer evening hours watching television shows about murder, kidnapping, rape, theft and all the other horrible things people do to each other.  Mostly I discovered people do stupid things that get them caught, even the best thought out plan ends badly.  I put a lot of thought into what 'perfect crime' I would commit, and indeed get away with. 

Most crimes involve a lot of blood and gore, or at the very least a good set of fingerprints someplace.  While others are clean, but painful for the victim.  Take poison for example.  DON'T USE POISON...you will get caught...those dang medical examiners in the morgue are very edjukated.  They might have to dig you up for a second autopsy, but the system will end up putting you in jail.

In the end I figured out that crime does not pay, so lately I've been watching network shows that have gone into syndication, and 'on demand', so that I can spend a whole evening viewing a 'mini-series', catching up on shows I missed during their 'first run'.

Some are quite delightful, there are some pretty clever sit-coms available for watching that will tickle your funny bones, with clever dialogue, and sometimes outrageous activity.  I think it is much more easy to write about blood, gore and evil than comedy.  Blood and gore pretty much repeats itself, while comedy is pretty much off the cuff, and 'you had to be there' funny.

Hence, while slipping on a banana peel is funny, to slip and fall on something unusual and new is not so easy.  Plus you have to take into consideration how you make the person fall.  For instance, last night, even though I didn't see it, to hear the words of how a young woman had to leave her apartment building having to jump from hers to the adjoining one, was really, really funny.  Turned out by the time she got to work, they had called in somebody to take her shift.  So, not only had she almost killed herself, she lost eight hours of work.  (Which was not funny.)  But, the story leading up to that was; thanks to clever writers.

Anyway, enough with the rambling.  I just want you to know I'm pretty much done with murder, kidnapping, rape, theft and all the other horrible things people do to each other...I can get that daily on my local news.  I'm going to go for things that put a smile on my face...the more slap-stick the better.  Remember Lucy?  What a pro.

Then there are the funny things I do to myself...take last night for instance.  I think I may have mentioned a few weeks ago I got a new kitchen sink faucet.  My new one has a much longer neck, and is quite a few inches taller than the old one.  I'm still trying to judge the water pressure, so I can stop the water before it splashes out over the top of the sink.  There I was, rinsing and putting objects into my dishwasher, thinking about something else all together.  I happened to put a plastic storage container under the water flow.  Before I knew it, my shirt was soaked, the floor was wet, and I even had water spots on my face.  How is it that at those moments everything suddenly moves in
s-l-o-o-o-w motion?  Your mind kind of goes blank.  And, you have to kind of throw yourself into a new gear to solve the problem. 

I wish I could have seen the look on my face.  Cleaning up the water, and changing clothes was not so funny, but the moment the water hit me and brought me back from reverie...priceless.