"Le' me ass' ya...

Frankie:  ...somthin'."
Me: (I'm making us sandwiches) "Yes?"
Frankie:  "How come you keep putting the front heel of the bread back in with the loaf every time?"
Me:  "I like a heel sandwich."

Frankie contemplates.

Frankie:  "Do you realize how many times you touch that piece of bread?"
Me:  "Uh-huh".
Frankie:  "Well, that's just gross."

I'm sure you all remember my ramblings and rantings about how particular I am about my sandwiches, so I guess Frankie does have a valid point here.  But, I plow on, smearing mustard c-l-e-a-r o-u-t and a little over the edge of each piece of bread.

Frankie:  "No, honestly, why do you keep that heel of bread?"
Me:  "Honestly?  I like a heel sandwich.  It's kind of like serendipity every one is a 'surprise accident'.  They are never, ever the same.  Sometimes the pieces fit together pretty well, sometimes one piece is huge and fat, while the other almost didn't make it through the automatic slicing machine and you get a lop-sided marvel."
Frankie:  "Ugh, that's still gross.  You've got one really germ laden piece and one pristine...how is that healthy?"
Me:  "Probably isn't.  Would you rather I shoved my hand down over all the pieces to pull the other heel out and have my heel sandwich first?"

Frankie shudders.

Frankie:  "Wouldn't a half a heel sandwich work?"
Me:  "No, My rational thinking is the front heel helps to keep the next piece of bread moist and fresh while the loaf gets eaten."

Unfortunately this made absolutely no sense to Frankie, I was beginning to think she was not going to eat her sandwich at all...maybe never eat a sandwich again.  I had not intended to gross her out, and I decided maybe I was 'messed up' keeping that heel till it met the one on the other end.  I mentally calculated the pros and cons.  Even asked myself if I was the only one in the world that liked a heel sandwich.  There have got to be others.

Eventually the pros won.  After all, it's not like I don't wash my hands first, and there is always the fact I've been doing this my whole adult life without any bodily harm.  Plus there's just something about the quaint, unusual excitement I get from a sandwich that on one side looks like the map of the United States while the other looks like India.  Since I like my sandwiches full, top to bottom, end to end, I never know what's going to get all over my fingers.  Sometimes it's a condiment, sometimes lettuce, cheese or maybe meat.  Generally I eat the over-hanging part first, until the heels match so it looks like either the United States or India.  Then, gulp that sucker...'er...sandwich down.

I wonder where I got the idea to make heel sandwiches, it had to come from somewhere...perhaps waaay back in my childhood.  OOOOOH, I bet my mom made and ate heel sandwiches.  Thanks, mom.