Okay...

this does not qualify under 'things they never tell you' cause I've know this since I was a kid, but I guess I didn't think these two things would ever happen to me.

I've got...

I've got...

I've got those age related brown spots...Yes, friends my hands and arms are beginning to look like I'm covered in a beige to sepia colored polka-dot clown outfit.  Man, they sure sneaked on me.  They didn't happen all at once like freckles, but one by one, I think mostly while I sleep.  I tell ya, what with saggy arms and wrinkly skin the last thing I need is a bunch of large, medium and small age spots cluttering up my skin.  It's down right ridiculous.  I wonder what kind of picture I could make if I tried to connect all the dots?  Baaa, haaa, haaa.  I think maybe some day if I have nothing better to do I just might try connecting them.  Wow, talk about body art.

Then of course there are my legs, there's a WHOLE other issue going on there.

I've got...

I've got...

Varicose Veins.  A bunch of miniature, red, river-lets meandering hither and yon, here and there...they've got a beginning...then come to an abrupt end for no apparent reason...I love the days I can wear shorts.  I press my thumb against them, and for a second or two they disappear.  Then in some sort of magical gush, Da-Da they re-appear exactly as they were.  A few years back I saw an ad in a catalog stating, that rubbing vitamin K cream over them, would make them fade and gradually go away.  Baaa, haaa, haaa.  (Would any of you like to sell me the Brooklyn Bridge, or some swamp property in Florida?)  I rubbed and rubbed the cream in, day after weary day...I even bought two tubes of the darn stuff, 'just in case'.  Nothing happened...well my money did go down the tubes...did I really expect more?  Actually I did.

Anyway, here I am, almost 75, and I'm finding growing old is a lot more fun than I thought it was going to be.  Seriously, sometimes I get to giggling about all my misadventures (losing things, finding things in odd places, trying to turn on the TV with my phone, forgetting why I went into a room).  I like laughing about all I've learned about my body getting old, marvel at what might be coming next, and excitedly wait for and expect the unexpected.  Who could ask for more?

So, next time we meet, I won't care if you look at my hands and arms with their age spots, sag and wrinkles or even if you glance down to inspect my miniature, red, river-lets...it's all good.  Besides, who's else is going be truthful and tell you of all the things to expect when you are about to turn 75?

It's gotta' be me.