...when I'm close to losing it. How? I feel the giggles coming from deep within my chest. It's like when I scream in the midst of a horrible dream loud enough to wake myself up, and I get into the throws of giggles I cannot control, leading to loud laughter that fills the whole house.
I think I wrote before how I scared the crap out of Zorro and Frankie one night with such laughter and how I promised I would try to control myself on a much better scale next time. Of course, we all know I will not be able to do that.
This morning, remembering the absurdity of a new incident has brought on this particular fit of giggles.
It happened the other night just as I was between conscious and unconsciousness. I had one of those awful, searing, leg cramps that brought me back to reality. I knew if I made noise, Frankie and Zorro would become quite afraid, so quietly as I could I threw my leg straight up into the air, and started to rub. Oh, talk about pain...worse than any labor pain I ever had, and rubbing only made it worse.
Unfortunately, this is the exact time CC decided she needed to curl up on my tummy; so, I tried to hold her at bay, rub my leg, and not scream all at the same time. I've mentioned before I'm not good at multitasking anymore, and remembered a friend once mentioned to me it helps to, stand up, I decided to throw caution to the wind and do that.
I threw off the covers and leaped to the floor, CC ran for cover. (Admit it, you have to admire that all the while, I tried to stay quiet.) (Although in my head I'm screaming my lungs out.) However, leaping to floor, was a bad idea, very, very bad idea. The weight I put on the bum leg only intensified the pain. I decided I could either throw myself forward, onto the floor or backward onto the bed. It was dark, the floor did not seem like a good option, I fell backward, hoping the bed was still where it was supposed to be.
Thankfully, it was. But CC returned. There I was prone, right leg straight up in the air, ouch, ouch, ouch. CC very demanding, wanted on my tummy now. I just wanted to stop the pain. So far I'd been able to keep Zorro and Frankie from entering this horrible picture, but I didn't know how much longer I could hold out. I gave up and eeked out a moan, Zorro stirred but did not wake. Thankfully, Frankie was not aroused.
I wish I could have a picture of the next few minutes. My leg was in the air, stiff and straight...turning in either direction only increased the pain, so I lie as still as possible; except for flexing my foot up and down, which seemed to help. There was a furry, purring, mass on my stomach, a sleeping dog at my side, and me, wishing I was dead. Will this night never end?
The pain began to subside.
I don't know exactly how long it took...it seemed like forever...the pain finally ceased and sweet sleep came.
Let me tell you this, next time that miserable cramp comes, I'm gonna' scream loud...and long...I will not only wake Zorro and Frankie, but the whole neighborhood, maybe even the dead.
No lie, friends and family, no lie.
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