Am I having fun yet?

Seriously, there are not enough hours in the day. 

Yet, it seems I waste quite a bit of it. 

I'm thinking about printing out a schedule, you know, 8AM personal hygiene, dress, etc.  10:30 coffee break.  1PM, quit work have lunch, and so on and so forth.  Maybe then I could then accomplish everything I want to get done every day. 

Of  course each week, each month would be different.  That would mean I would have to adapt (waste time) rewriting my schedule every single month and how time consuming would that be? 

For instance this month, I'm gathering together all the paperwork I'm going to need for state and federal taxes and going through last year's files, shredding those I no longer need and setting up the empty 2013 files for this year's bills, receipts, and miscellaneous paperwork, too.  Tick, tock, tick, tock.

I hate it, I hate all of it.  However, I know this is all necessary since my fear of making mistakes on my taxes and having the state and/or the IRS coming after me is enough to MAKE me work through the hate.  So every year January is a very ugly time. 

Then, of course, if you recall I mentioned a few days ago I want to start an exercise program.   Baaaaa, haaaaaa, haaaaa.  So far I've exercised twice.  Oh, it's not that I don't have the time in the evening, as I'm vegging on the sofa every night.  It's just getting my lazy 'you know what' off that damn sofa to begin with.  That's hard!!!!!

I'm also working just about every day (including weekends and some nights) designing merchandise.  I can't really complain about that because the time spent on this activity is the best part of my days.  They say if you are doing what you love it's not really work and I find that to be true, I just hope some day I make a little money at it.

Then of course, there's the miscellaneous stuff  that happens every day.  The trip to the mail box, the weeds that catch my eye on the way back to the front door.  The rose bush I have to trim because my gardener neglected to do it.  It seems there is always something outside of my daily schedule calling to me. 

I remember a conversation I had with my husband.  I told him our retirement was not what I expected it to be.  He asked what I meant.  And, I replied, I though we would have traveled, gone places, seen things.  Brought home treasures. 

His reply was "Why would you have thought that?  And he made his way out the door to his part time job.

I sighed.

Sadly, now I have no desire to see exotic places...well, except for a few...and it appears I am following in his footsteps by working now myself.  I feel I am living my own "Green Acres",  trying to accomplish something, but not really achieving anything.  Like Oliver Wendell Douglas, I've got door knobs falling off, closet doors that fall to the floor, and poles to climb to use the phone. 

I wish I could spend my days Like Lisa Douglas, in swishy, chiffon dressing gowns doing 'out of the ordinary' things ladies of leisure do.  Maybe then I'd get rid of the mind set that I must be doing something, and it wouldn't matter I'm wasting time.  Till then, I need help...somebody, anybody.