Clippity, clip

You all know the love affair I'm having with the aging process, and how I laugh my way through all the ugly of it. I'm hoping that in some small way my Blog is warning everybody of the little pitfalls and strangeness of it all.

You know I'm compiling a list of the things nobody ever tell you.

Get ready, here comes another.

Bet you didn't know that as you grow older your nails get tough...I'm talkin' tough.  I used to be able to clip and shape my nails with a small, petite nail clipper, and have the job done in the blink of an eye.  Now...oh, mercy, mercy.  I have to use a BIG clipper, and squeeze like crazy to detach the unwanted portions.  My  thumb and big toe nails are especially hard.  No kidding, those suckers are tough as 'nails'.  (Is that a pun?)

On the up side of this, I can get my fingernails to get grow really, REALLY long, so this time I even gave myself a beautiful manicure that I managed to keep pretty pristine up till yesterday, when one nail 'snapped off'...DAMN IT.  You know once one is short the rest are out of balance, so you are required to clip them all back.  DAMN IT.

So it was yesterday with heavy heart, I dragged out a waste paper basket, leaned over and began to clip away.  I could not believe how two layers of polish and a layer of clear coat had thickened up my nails even more. When I clipped my first thumb, the pieces did not gently fall into the basket, but flew hither and yon.  By the time I was done the bathroom floor was littered with bits of shrapnel.  Zorro took two minutes to sniff these tiny bits, but soon lost interest because they (apparently) not edible.

I sighed, now I was going to have to remove the beautiful polish, soon all traces of my lovely manicure were gone.

A couple of years ago I started seeing in my monthly neighborhood news paper the Senior Center was offering appointments for folks to come have their foot nails clipped and trimmed.  I thought that strange at the time.  Why would an old person do that?  Oh...now I know.  After yesterday's debacle, I understand, and I'm kind of dreading the next time I have to tackle my own. Not only because they are indeed tough as 'nails', but, I've discovered I have a harder time reaching them.  DAMN IT!  I used to be so bendable.
Senior Center, here I come.

However, I'm determined to find a silver lining here and end this with an up-beat finale, although my beautiful manicure is gone, I have discovered I type much better with short nails. At peast I ty8hi so>

DAMN IT!