Dab-nag elektronical devices!!!!!

This morning I get a call from my sister. She says she does not think she has my cell phone number, could I give it to her.  I'm guessing it's been at least a year and a half I actually used my phone, dang if I remember the number.  I have to look it up myself.   I only bought the phone for 'emergency purposes' so it mostly sits on my bedside table.  It's a 'back-up' so to speak, in case of downed power lines, etc.

My routine with the phone goes something like this:

1. Flip it open.
2. Turn it on.
3. Check battery status, recharge if necessary.
4. Turn phone off.
5. Flip it closed.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is about the extent of my cell phone knowledge.

So, when my sister asked for my number, I had to get the phone, and turn it on to find out what the number was.  I confess I no longer have phone numbers committed to memory any more (well, except for 911). I simply let my teknulogicial gadgetry remember them for me.

After we established my sister had my cell phone number, she says she's going to call me to make sure she had put it into her phone properly.  Okey, dokey, says I.

My cell phone rings. 

1. Flip open phone.

I stare at it...my mind a total blank...this is waaaay beyond my expertise.  I've not a clue what to do.  Is it the green phone icon I push, or the red one?????  Ponder, ponder.   The phone stops ringing.

My cell phone rings again.

I'm pushing buttons...I got nuttin'.

The phone stops ringing.

The phone rings again.

Okay, okay, it's got to be either the green or red icon...I push red...I guess not hard enough, cause nothing happens.  By now the phone is no longer ringing.

At last my grey matter starts to move...I call my sister from my land line...she picks up.

"I'm getting your calls."  I tell her..."I don't remember how to answer my damn phone."

"It's the green phone icon." Says she.

I says, "Call me back, I want to make sure it works"

The phone rings....whadda ya know, it worked.  We both have a really good laugh. 

I tell her I just might leave the phone on all the time, til she reminds me that is going to drain the battery.  Ohhhhh, yeah, riiiiiight.

We say our goodbyes.

I decide since I'm now involved, I might as well click, clickety, click through the names in the phone book to see if numbers look familiar.  UH HO, I discover I don't have my sister's cell phone number on my phone.  Remember, my mind this morning is mush.  I have totally forgotten she called me from her cell, and that I could have saved the number from her call.  But, noooo, I call her from my land line and get the number.  Apparently it did not occur to her either, that I could have easily added her number to my phone as I diligently I wrote down the numbers as she gave them to me.

Again we say our goodbyes.

Now, all I have to do is get those numbers into my phone.  YOU HAVE NOOOO idea how mentally challenging that was.  No good, blankity, blank elektronical doo-dads.

Do I get my instruction booklet for help.  Are you kidding me?  This is a stupid phone...

...it's a stupid phone

...it's a stupid phone.

Some time later, I figured it out.  Whew.  I'm exhausted, where's Jim Beam when you really need him?

Damn, dab-nag, doo-dad, blankity-blank, elektronical teknulogicial gadgetry!