I'm conflicted

Frankie reminded me this morning I didn't write a blog yesterday.

I know.

I'm conflicted.

On one hand, I love my job...I know, I know, it's not a job.  I guess I should say I love being creative, and have no problem at all sitting at my computer, cutting, pasting, writing blogs, poetry, essays...whatever.  I do it cheerfully, happily, enthusiastically.

Oh the other hand, it's spring, beautiful, wonderful, glorious spring.  I want to be outside...I need to be outside...I long to just sit in the sun, or shade and do absolutely nothing.  Well, maybe do a little yard maintenance if I so desire...or maybe read a book, of which my pile of those unread is mounting. 

I have that sweet little Angel on one shoulder telling me relax, put my feet up, breathe deeply, enjoy the sun filled moments.

On the other shoulder I have that tricky, imp-y fella' in a red suit, telling me to work myself into a sweaty mass, work, work, work...indoor or out...until I have myself in such a frenzy I have a heart attack and...well...die.

Is there no middle road?

I want, I need a middle road. 

It is going to be a glorious day today.  I'm thinking I will work this morning, and take the afternoon off, go outside and sit in a chair while the hours tick by.

I can't...I know I can't.  Sure, I can work in the morning...it's 7:30 and I've been sitting here at my computer since a little after six.  The minutes flow by, each one filled with creative enjoyment.

And I do intend to be outside this afternoon...but will I simply sit?  Hardly.  There is still dirt to move, shrubs to trim, daffodils to cut back.  Work, work, work.

Here is how my dream day would go.  Dress, Coffee, throw up the garage door, sit in a chair and watch my neighborhood come alive.  Sit, sit, sit.  Listen to the birds, lawnmowers, the kids at recess over at the middle school, the freeway traffic sounding like ocean waves coming in.

Grab a bite of lunch.  Maybe peanut butter crackers and another cup of coffee.  Take my Bible study literature and get ready for next week's lesson.  Finish reading the two books that have been half read on my night stand since Christmas.

Say hello to neighbors on their afternoon walks, maybe even converse for a while.  Change my 'sweats' for a pair of shorts and a tee shirt.  Contemplate dinner,  quietly watch daylight wane, and twilight begin...

I'm conflicted...my Angel tells me it is okay to take a day off, I sooo much want to do that.  But, that imp Devil, pokes at my conscience till I have to fill my day with labor.  Who should I listen to?

Oh, I'm so conflicted.