Will I never learn?

Among other things I did this weekend was cook. Yes, my slow cooker hummed along quietly while I worked in the office, did laundry and whacked down an errant forsythia shrub. You should have seen me trying to shove all the pieces of that sucker into my yard debris container.

I was so proud of myself...being careful to make all the pieces near the same size; the pile was b-e-a-uuu-tee-ful. Big, but beautiful. When I was done hacking and whacking I stood admiring my handy work.

Last year I had bound up the forsythia in the hope it would not be quite so gangly however, when that didn't work I knew the shrub must come down. The rope that held the shrub in place was lying on the ground close to my mound of cuttings.

"Hmmm", I say, to no one in particular. "I bet if I put this rope around this mound of branches, limbs and stems, I can carry it to the recycling bin in one fell swoop".

Note to self: Put the rope, strung out first under the pile of debris.

It took a some time and quite a bit of rolling the debris, but eventually I got the rope around the pile. Then I made a loop on one end of the rope, pulled the other end through it, and proceeded to pull the rope tight. (I didn't realize the rope had decayed some, and the rope snapped.) I mended the break and tried again. This time I stopped short of 'breaking my gusset'.

I was so proud. I stood back and admired my ingenuity. Whoa, that was still a pretty big stack of clippings. I look down the sidewalk; I'm going to have to carry this pile quite a distance. I try to pick it up.

Note to self: If the object you are trying to lift is bigger, and/or weighs more than you, you probably won't be able to.

Okay I say to myself, I will simply drag it. Skinny sidewalk, flower garden, fence...uh-oh. I'm sure you see my problem. I step up onto the pile and begin stomping and tromping around to make it smaller.

Note to self: Bind up the pile after a pile is stomped.

Eventually I drag the bundle down the sidewalk, through the gate, and in front of my yard debris container. Crap. There appears more debris than the container can hold. Besides, there was no way I could ever, ever pick the debris up anyway. I'm in a pickle. Maybe I just need to let the pile wilt for a while.

Note to self: Debris does not 'wilt' quickly.

I was not sure what I was going to do, so I went in the house to contemplate. Hours later I return to the pile. I decide to untie it, since I can't pick the pile up, I will break it down and shove the pieces in my container a few pieces at a time.

Well, working off and on, that took what was left of Saturday, and part of Sunday, but eventually I got every branch, limb and stem shoved into my yard debris container. However, I still had to get the container to the curb for this morning's trash pick-up. This meant I was going to have to face the public. I hate when I have to do that. What if I lose control of the container on my way to the curb and I have to 'reload' the contents? What if I break a wrist as I lose control of the container as it hits the ground? What if I'm caught talking to myself? I do that you know.

Somehow I manage. Do I get caught by neighbors dragging the container to the curb? Yes, so I'm quite thankful I didn't have an accident along the way, and that I was not talking to myself at the time. Well done, Sandra, well done.

Note to self: Clean up while you work...not after.