"I got nuttin' "

Any writer will tell you, the only thing that will cause their palms to sweat, their hearts to race, and their minds to turn to mush is to have absolutely nothing to say.  Oh yeah, I'm talking about writer's block.

I've got that today. 

In days of old I'd be sitting at my desk, my number two pencil going tappity, tap, tap, up and down on my 'steno' pad waiting for my muse to arrive.  Then, I'd doodle a little, you know, those repetitious circles, circles, circles and push-pulls we had to make in grade school as we learned cursive.  We'd get graded on those, they had to be perfect.  I still make them sometimes if I'm on 'hold' on the phone.  "Our representatives are all busy now, please remain on the line, insert elevator music here.

Circle, circle, circle.

Push-pull, push-pull.

Yesterday I had to call the water bureau, I wanted to know if it would be okay to pay only half of the bill this month, and half the next.  The nice recording told me my wait would be two minutes to speak to a representative.  Sure, sure, been there, done that.  I was prepared for a much longer wait. 

I was surrounded by bills, envelopes, check and address books and the little booklet that holds address labels and stamps.  (Yes, I know, I'm so orderly it disgusts even me.)

Anyway, I'm thumbing through all this crap looking for my pen (that
has mysteriously disappeared) because I feel the need for push-pulls and circles coming on.  How will I ever endure the wait until I get to speak to a representative.  My hands have got to be busy or I will become unglued.

Pen found!

Now all I need is a slip of paper, I shuffle through the crap again.  I tell myself not to panic, there's got to be a hunk of throw away paper here somewhere.

There is!  And...here's my rub for the day.  All those ads, notices, and newsletters that utilities, banks and insurance companies include with their mail.  Do you ever read yours?  I 'glance' at mine, but seldom find a headline interesting enough to actually read the article.  Then, there are those fillers from the bank, that explain the new changes to my accounts that will take affect next month.  They are sometimes pages long, and the font size so small I need a magnifying glass to read them.  I keep those, but don't actually read them.  I figure if I make a mistake the bank will be more than pleased to tell me and charge my account $25 a clip at the same time. 

Do companies have any idea how many trees they could save by not including all that paper with their mailings?  Yeah, yeah, they all tout "go paperless", and I've no objection to doing that, however, (I'm guessing here) I suspect their web-sites probably make you read through some 'new kind of crap', before you get to your account.  Kind of like web-sites you go to now that have a message like "this ad will end in 05, 04, 03, 02, 01 secs.  Sigh, well, at least we're saving trees.

Where the heck is a piece of paper?

"Thank you for calling the Water Bureau, my name is Carter, how can I help you?"

Son of a gun...one minute, fifty nine seconds.  I wonder if he was sitting at his desk with a stop watch, doodling?