It's that time of year.

"So, what's ya' gonna' write about this Christmas?"

It's Frankie.  I kind of give her a puzzled look because I'm not exactly sure what she's leading up to. 

"You know, for your blog.  Remember, last year, you wrote the really warped 'Twelve Days of Christmas'."

I'm not sure if this is a statement or a question. However, I have to confess that over the year I've been wondering about that myself.  What in the world could I write about?  Last year I kind of went overboard.  Have I got anything that could top that 'Twelve Days of Christmas' gem?  What fun it was having a mysterious love bring me such outrageous presents.

"Sorry, Frankie, 'I've got nuttin', as you so frequently like to tell me.  I wish I could say I have something clever up my holiday sleeve...but I don't."

Frankie looked devastated, took her blueberry muffin and left the office, Zorro trailing behind obviously looking, waiting, for falling crumbs. 

I confess I truly have been trying to come up with something clever for my December blogs, maybe I set the bar to high last year, and my pole is too short to vault over anything.  Or, maybe my creative juices have simply been flowing in another direction.

Sigh.

The Adventures of Brunhilda

Once upon a time, in the land of snow, icicles, reindeer, and a fat, jolly fellow who likes to wear red and work with elves in a gingerbread style toy shop, there was an elf (we will call her Brunhilda or, Brunie for short).

Now, nobody knows just how old elves live to be, so let's just say Brunie has 'been around the block' a couple of times.  I don't want to say she's 'older than dirt', but I'm pretty sure she grew up in a time when 'eating a peck' of it was still acceptable.

She was a hard worker and an inspiration.  She always had a smile on her face, a song in her heart, and kept the other elves in a holly, jolly state of mind.

In her youth she worked with glue.  All kinds of glue.  Her boss, The fat, jolly fellow (he had many, many names, we will call him Santa) often started the new elves in the Gluing Toys Together Department, and felt this was the ideal department for Brunie to begin her career.

Eager to do her best, Santa started her out with White Glue, you know the kind you can eat, or spread out on the palm of you hand, allow to dry, peel off and get a perfect 'hand print'.  Let's just say Brunie loved this job, but since she began to eat more of the glue, than she glued Santa could tell White Glue was not the best glue for her and moved her up to Tacky, and Book Binding Glue. 

Here, Brunie did ever so well, however after a couple of years, Santa found out she spent more time sitting in a corner reading books rather than gluing them together and she was moved on to Glitter Glue.  Oh me, oh my, Glitter Glue and Brunie were made for each other, and for the longest time her work was perfect, until the day she discovered she had accidentally glued some bright red glitter to her cheek and a whole new world opened up for her.  She glittered herself silly.

Finally, Santa had had enough and moved her up to the prestigious Hot Glue Gun department.  Well, that was a disaster!  Brunie and Hot Glue did not go well...at all.  She burned her fingers, left long spider-web trails of glue everywhere, and frequently, though accidentally, glued pieces together that did not belong.  So, not so jolly fellow moved Brunie to the finally gluing room.  Super Glue.

Now aside from the fact that Super Glue tended to give Brunie a 'buzz', she also had a problem gluing herself, to herself.  Thumb to forefinger, hand to hand, hand to chin, hand to ear, hand to butt (don't ask), so that Santa in his infinite wisdom, removed her from the Gluing Toys Together Department and sent her on a nice l-o-n-g vacation to Hawaii.

Chapter two, will follow.