Pondering

Did you ever have a relationship with someone that's so hard to explain you don't know what words to use to explain it?

I have one.  He came to visit me yesterday afternoon. 

I can't tell you the exact date I met this man, he was young, in the Navy.  He was dating one of my daughters.  I liked him immediately.  He was tall, lanky, and had 'Texas' rugged good looks.  He was a good guy, a good guy, serving his country with pride.

The more he came the more I liked him.  Eventually he married my daughter, they settled here and we began to have family gatherings for holidays and summer picnics.  They had a daughter.  She was followed by a son. 


Time moved on.  And, as frequently happens, their relationship ended.  He stepped up to the plate and took responsibility for the kids.  They remained close by, and I got to watch the grand kids grow into great adults. 

And, here's where it gets kind of strange.  Usually, when a couple breaks up, the In-Law person in the relationship kind of silently, mystically, disappears into a totally different life, and like a wisp of smoke is suddenly gone on the autumn breeze.

This man stuck around...I talk about him frequently, admire him greatly and frankly, love him to bits.  He's like a son...well, truth be told, he is a son.

When people ask me how he fits into the the family, I confess I have to sputter, and hem and haw around, because the word that fits him does not exist.  I could say he's my ex-son-in-law, but I hate that label.  I could say he's a dear family friend, but that's not right either, and that sounds even more horrible than the label ex-son-in-law.  I could say he's my grand children's father.  And, yes he is, but he's a lot more than that, besides that's just an awkward label, too.  Ugh.

Yesterday afternoon, we finally addressed the awkward relationship we have.  Come to find out, he has no exact word to express it either.  I just know I love him, and maybe we shouldn't concern ourselves about trying to label what we have and just accept it. 

So, as we said goodbye yesterday afternoon, I gave him a great big hug and told him how much I love him, and told him I though of him as a son, and that's what I'm going to call him from here on out.  Even though "We ain't even blood"

And, to make this all legal and binding:

I, hereby declare on this date November 11, 1013  that from this day hence,

I will refer to you as my Son, and that the love I have for you

is and will be binding until the day I'm called home.

 

I also declare I am of sound mind, (though a little old of body),

I promise to remain your friend and Adopted Mother

for as long as we both shall live.

 

 

Signed: Sandra Ann Hiller

Witnessed by: Frankie Zorro and CC