I'm Going to Write a Book

Now, before you tell me, I know, I KNOW, I write about getting old, being old and getting older way too much.  But, old is so dang funny I can't help myself.  Just the other night I took a tumble that scared Zorro half to death, and caused Frankie and I to get into a state of uncontrolled laughter.

Bear with  me, here comes another story.  This is truly funny but some of you might be offended, and disgusted, so, please stop reading here.   However, for you braver of heart, I have to tell this little story.

As Sargent Friday would say, It was Sunday, I was working night watch, crocheting on the sofa.  My boss is Frankie, and my partner is Rat Terrier Zorro.  1:30 AM.

I had fallen asleep, and awoke to find my hook work on the floor and decided if I was going to sleep I might as well go to bed.

I started to rise.  Toot.  Oh my gosh, my body had become a musical instrument.  I take a few steps. Toot.  What the heck?  I make my way to the kitchen, tooting all the way.  I try to stop, really I do, but I don't have any control over this whole situation. Toot, toot, toot.

By now Frankie is in a STATE, the likes of which I have never seen before.  She is waving her hand back and forth in front of her nose, laughing hysterically.  Toot, toot.

Zorro now has a keen interest, and is closely following my back side, not only because of the sound, but I'm pretty sure the odor has something to do with it, too.

My little orchestral masterpiece continued for about five minutes.  Much to everyone's delight...except me. Toot.

Toot. Laughter

Toot. Laughter.

Toot.

Is this another old person trick being played on me by my Guardian Angel?  Toot.  I know it can't be Frankie, she has power, but not THAT kind of power.  And, this is waaay beyond Zorro's expertise.

Why has the learned medical community not warned the us older generation these things are going to happen?  It would have been so nice to know, so that I could have prepared myself so at the very least I would have known this was a possibility.  Toot.

Toot.

I'm please to say, my little instrumental eventually subsided, and life went back to normal, but I'm beginning to wonder, should I start to stock up on those adult diapers I see advertised on TV?  OMG, please tell me that isn't going to be next.

 So, this morning I got to thinking, maybe I should write a book about all the subtle little things that can happen as we try to ???gracefully??? go through our declining years.  I wish Erma Bombeck was still around...I know she would warn us, and do it in such a delightful way we would all accept these little mishaps with great aplomb.