Hmmm???

Frankie is in the bathroom.  She is muttering and sputtering about something but I can't make out the words.

I pressed my ear against the door, and as I did it flung open...I dang near fell into her as she came charging out.

She is holding two rolls of toilet paper.  She is fuming, I swear I can see smoke coming out of her ears.  Why the heck is she so upset?

Frankie:  "See this?"  She has shoved a new roll of tissue under my nose.  "A person cannot start the roll without destroying at least three layers."

She then shoved a second roll under my nose.  The ends of which is all frayed, while a tiny portion is still intact, firmly glued together.

Frankie:  "I hate this, a person should NOT have to work so hard to retrieve a small bit of paper with which to wipe herself.  You HAVE GOT TO STOP BUYING CHEAP TOILET PAPER."

By now she has me backed into the linen closet door, it appears she expects me to correct this injustice immediately if not sooner.  I must admit I was a bit taken aback.  My mind is flinging hither and yon trying to think of a way to pacify her.

Frankie:  "Really, really!  We can't afford better bath tissue?"

Ah-ha, now I have a point to make.  This time I take Frankie by the hand and lead her to the office.  I know I have to make the most of this visual aid, so I choose wisely.

Clickity, click, click.  I type in "Prices of toilet paper-expensive to cheap."  Frankie, looking over my shoulder was not impressed.

Frankie:  "This is not helping,"  She points to the first item..."that's for thirty rolls, the bottom item is for four, naturally that's going to be cheaper."

Okay, she has a point.  So, I go to the store that delivers my groceries, and clickity, click, click I type in toilet tissue.  There we make the following comparisons.  12 rolls for $8.29, or $3.11/100sf.  18 rolls for $6.99 or $1.08/100sf.   "Which is the better buy?" I ask Frankie.

Frankie:  "18 rolls for $6.99."
Me:  "Right!  So, which TP do you think I'm going to buy?"
Frankie:  "The one for $6.99."
Me:  "Right again."
Frankie:  (Starting to sputter.)  "But, but, that kind is so awful...it frays when you wipe, It's hard to start the roll, the glue sometimes makes the squares stick together on one side a third of the way down the  roll.  Surely we can buy some a little bit better."

Drum roll please!!!!!!

Me:  "Tell ya what, YOU spend your money on the toilet tissue, and we will use whatever kind you want.  The best, the softest, the one that is scented...whatever...it will be up to you."

By now Frankie has finished scrolling through the TP section of my shopping place.  Great contemplation going on.

She pushes away from the computer desk and silently walks away.

Suddenly, she does not seem too upset with my choice of toilet tissue.  Money talks.