I've been dreaming.

I know we all dream every night, and that we seldom remember them.  That's okay by me.  But, every once in a while I will have one...that I won't remember...that will wake me up screaming.  They are always followed by an uncontrollable fit of giggles, followed by outright laughter.  The kind I guess a professional would call "hysterical laughter", my body's way of reacting to the terror I must have experienced in my dream.  The last time this happened I threw Frankie and Zorro into such a tizzy I hope I never do that again.

Lately, I've been having a dream about being away from home, I'm at a huge mansion that sits at the top of a hill, a large slopping meadow stretches down the hill far into the distance.  I think there was a party, and all the guests are leaving...I want to leave, too.  But I wander the mansion, one room leads into the next, I'm looking for a hallway with a door that leads out.  I can find none.  I can't get home.

I dream about being on a snowy beach, it's cold, I'm in a small coastal town, I'm looking for a way got get to a bus or train station so I can get home.  No one will help, and I wander about until exhausted, and at this point I will wake up.

Sometimes the dream takes place in an old, dank, dark, deserted station of some sort.  I think it's a train station.  I'm looking for a ticket agent.  There is none to be found. I roam about my desperation growing...I just want to go home.  Again, I wake exhausted.

The last dream, same scenario, I just want to go home.  However, in this dream I actually know people, and they know me.  It is autumn, I'm walking along a country road, I know I'm getting very close to home.  You know, you recognize things...but you don't, that's the state I'm in.  There are old white houses, with small front yards, it's sunny and warm, the trees are ablaze of reds, oranges and yellows..  It is a very pleasant dream...but all I want to do is get home.  It is all to no avail...nobody seems to know exactly where I live...frustrated I wake up.

For years now I've been trying to figure out what these dreams mean, and why I'm so anxious about getting home.  And, I've been asking myself, how these dreams would end if I actually reach my destination.

Now, here's the thing...



(hang on folk)

this is where my pondering has lead.

Time for a 'what if'.

What if,

one night I have one of these dreams, and it plays out to the end, I actually get 'home'?

Will I wake up happy and content my journey is finally complete, or are these dreams a precursor I am simply going to get home, and then die peacefully in my sleep?  I think, either way, I'm a winner.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake....

at my age, that's not a bad thing.