Out of sorts

I don't know what's wrong with me.  I've been out of sorts ever since the middle of December when I got this year's flu shot...I'm not 100% sick but not feeling 100% well either.  I'm achy, have no appetite, get the chills, feel feverish, get stopped up---dry out, blow, blow, blow my nose, and sometimes get so exhausted I barely have strength to flop on the sofa to take a rest.

In November 2011 I got a flu shot.  I got so sick, I was visiting emergency wards and doctoring like crazy.  No one in the medical community could really pin-point what was wrong with me, but according to my symptoms they finally said I was suffering from Vertigo and Anxiety Attacks.  Boy was I anxious?  You bet ya!  I thought I was having heart attacks, my vision was out of whack and some times I was so dizzy I could barely stand.  There was a heavy knot at the nape of my neck, that started to spread left and right toward my ears.  I was scared, really, really scared.

I was finally prescribed an anxiety medication, and that helped a lot.  On the down side, I got so paranoid about getting ill in public I became a recluse.  And I remain so today.  I have to make myself leave the house.

Now, 2011's symptoms are back, (except for the panic attacks---thank you medication), and I'm starting to wonder if the flu shots have something to do with my decline in health.  I got my flu shot on December 10, 1012, and that is just about the time I started feeling like crap.  Of course, maybe here is a bug going around, and without the flu shot I might even be feeling worse, regardless, I just want to feel like my old self again.

I've already cancelled two social activities this week, and will probably cancel the remaining two today.  I'm simply not up to 'acting' chipper, affable, cheery, and enthusiastic when all I want to do is lay down and take a nap.

But, I am ever the optimist, this will not last forever, and I will struggle through to the day the sun comes out and warms my body to the bone; to the day when I eat something and actually enjoy it; and to the day I have the energy to get through my daily activities with the excitement and enthusiasm of my normal self.  

In the meantime, I will pretend I'm well.