Ala-ka-zam

Bet nobody knew I'm a magician, yep, I am.  I can make tableware disappear in the...blink of an eye. Fork, poof, it's gone.  Spoon, snap, vanished.  Knife, poof-snap,...poof-snap...(hold on, let me tightly close my eyes) poof-snap, there, it's gone, too.  Knives are harder, they're bigger and weigh more I really have to work to make them disappear.

I used to go to the stores that sell those pretty little four piece starter sets to replace my vanished pieces (for the life of me I don't know how to bring the tableware back) but that was becoming costly, and my husband began to wonder where the new patterns had come from.  So, I discovered the Dollar Store...they have the most wonderful aisle of kitchen gadgets that include packets of tableware...you get two spoons, forks or knives for a buck. Wooo, hooo.  I began to buy those, sneak them into the house and started to build up my supply.

The great thing is, first, they are cheap, and second, they are so non-descript my family didn't even notice they were new. Insert applause here.

Okay, here comes the magic part.  I can still make them disappear, but no longer care, 'cause they are cheap, but, lately I've discovered I can make them bend...NO JOKE...literally, I can bend those forks in half.  I'm tellin' ya', it's a hoot.

All I need is something to mush up, (chunky wet dog food will do) and da-da, I can bend a fork in half, like a piece of gum that's been left in the summer sun too long.  It is amazing...I love it....makes me fill up with giggles every time.  Thank you Dollar Store...I know there must be other ladies out there with this problem, I can't possibly be the only one.  Trust me...the Dollar Store will be your saviour.

Oh, I have one other magic trick I can do, and it's a pretty cute tale, I'll tell you that tomorrow.  It's about a bird.

Anyway, I'm discovering my blog has become a place to reveal secrets, and I seem compelled to tell them, maybe this is the way to clear my conscience and make straight my walk up the stairs to those "Pearly Gates"...(sigh)...I can only hope, I can only hope.