Tips of the Slongue

Today I'd like to talk about 'tips of the slongue', er, 'slips of the tongue'  You know, it's when your brain is still 'processing',  while your brainless tongue speaks first.  We all make these slips, sometimes to our great embarrassment.  It is one thing to make them in a small gathering of friends, but in front of strangers, in crowded places, geeze.  Not pretty, not pretty.  You get this look as though they think you just arrived from another planet.  Fortunately, most folk realize you've simply made a dumb mistake, and eventually give you a weak, "boy, do you need a nap" smile, and in the case of a check-out person, hurriedly hand you your purchase, just to get you to go away.

I'd like to tell you my favorite, (this isn't one of my own), but belongs to My Aunt Esther who was a wonderful, funny lady, she and my Uncle Bert both lived to 'ripe old age', and are together now in that place we all want to be some day.

They would go to Florida during the winter, and (I hope I'm getting this story straight) on one such trip to the Sunshine State, they stopped at a bakery for some sweets. When it is Aunt Esther's turn she says to the clerk, "I'd like a dozen Dazed Glownuts, please."

She is greeted with the look I mentioned above, and she repeats her order.  Dazed Glownuts, please.  It is obvious she does not know she has made a mistake, and I'm sure by now she is giving the clerk the same 'are you from a foreign country?' look.

There they are, right before their eyes, a tray of Dazed Glownuts...(just put them in a bag and we can 'hit the road'.)

Now here the picture gets fuzzy.  I think it was finally Uncle Bert who realized what they really wanted was Glazed Doughnuts, and with the misunderstanding cleared, they make their purchase and are on their way, munching delicious Dazed Glownuts.

Over the years, this story has grown, and I wish you could hear my favorite aunt and uncle tell it.  I can hear their laughter in my head as I write.  To this day I still have a hard time saying Glazed Doughnuts, because in my brain Dazed Glownuts are the only words there.  I love Tips of the Slongue.