Ants

Ah, spring...ah, Ants.  Not the cute, smart, problem solving kind we see in feature length cartoon films.  The actual creeping, crawling kind. Sugar ones, they are so tiny you almost need a magnifying glass to see them.  It is especially difficult if your kitchen tile pattern happen to be spatters of black, brown and tones of grey.  I hate to admit this, but I get a bizarre, perverse pleasure squashing them under my thumb or forefinger.

Over the years I've discovered various ways of disposing of these little buggers, none of which do THEY find particularly enjoyable. However, I will tell you my favorite choices, all of which are reasonably priced, 'cause, I'm cheaper than Scrooge.

First, there is the aerial spray can,  they are quick and efficient, but smell terrible.

Next, there are the little 'houses'(traps), where the ants go in and drag the poison back to their hills, where supposedly the poison kills everybody else (I don't know if that's true or not, but I've come to suspect the traps must give off some kind of odor that ants don't like, because in the cupboards where I have them, the ants do not come.)  As a result, I have these little houses all around my kitchen drawers and cupboards.

Next, for stragglers who do happen to invade me, I become a detective, and go on surveillance, watching to see where they enter and exit, then I fill the crack(s) with a good 'tacky glue', they dry clear and block their way in and out, plus no one has a clue I've even done anything.  (I occasionally have to re-glue, since I wash the floors, and the glue eventually wears away.)  But, re-seaming the crack is quick and easy, and glue is even cheaper than traps and spray cans.

Finally, (and this is my favorite) if I discover a nest outside, I boil a huge pan of water, go out and
s-l-o-w-l-y pour the boiling water, all over the nest.  You should see those rascals racing around trying to save themselves and their eggs...all in vane...this form of disposal is especially quick, inexpensive AND works like a charm.  Honest, they don't appear to suffer long.

However, the last choice is tricky...as you have to be careful not to burn yourself while walking to the nest by spilling the boiling water on yourself.  (Trick I've learned...when carrying any liquid...do NOT...look at the object you are carrying, but just beyond, where you are going to step next.  I guarantee, the liquid will not slosh around and spill over the lip of the container...this is not a joke...and it works every time.)

So there you have it, another deep, dark, ugly secret exposed...I dislike ants, especially if their intent is to crawl all over my food.  You are free to try any of my methods, and I will not charge a fee for this information...I wish you luck.   Now, get out there, search...and...destroy.